


At The End Of The World With Pepper Potts

by shannyfish



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Aldrich Killian is a Bastard, Dark!Pepper, Death, Destruction, End of the World, Evil Extremis Pepper, Extremis, F/M, Florence & The Machine, Genocide, Hurt Tony Stark, Massacre, Natasha is a fic ninja, POV Natasha Romanov, POV Pepper Potts, POV Tony Stark, Pepper Potts Feels, Possible Character Death, Post-Iron Man 3, SHIELD, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Feels, World Domination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2013-11-16
Packaged: 2017-12-28 20:00:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/995957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony must figure out how to regain Pepper from Killian's hold and keep them from conquering the whole world.  Will love be enough for both Tony and Pepper to survive?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Howl

**Author's Note:**

> There’s going to be pretty much two different time periods going on. Hopefully it won’t be confusing. I’ll try to make sure that I clearly identify the time period. But every chapter should start off in the present and then any other scenes will be a flashback. 
> 
> Constructive criticism is as always appreciated! Check out my blog on my writing at shannyfish11 (dot) blogspot (dot) com

“The fabric of your flesh, pure as a wedding dress 

Until I wrap myself inside your arms I cannot rest 

The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound 

I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallowed ground  

And howl”

~ “Howl” by Florence & The Machine

 

. . .

 

PRESENT DAY

 

“Tony!” 

 

He could tell that she was screaming and that she was herself…at least for a moment. He feared it was only for a flash. As he fell to the ground, Tony knew that this was it. This was the end of it all. But Pepper caught him before he hit the ground. She wrapped him up in her arms and for a moment he feared that she’d flip back to the stranger he’d just been staring at and snap his neck. 

 

Tony felt like he was fused with the armor. He wouldn’t have been surprised. It was a little lame to think that he’d have to be buried in the armor because of the possibility of his skin being fused to the armor itself. He stared up at Pepper as tears fell down her face. 

 

There she was. 

 

There was the woman that he loved and adored. There was the woman that he’d traveled the world to track down. Pepper Potts. How he’d missed her. How he’d missed the truly radiant beauty of his darling Pepper. It felt like it had been a lifetime since he’d seen her. The real her.

 

His head was in her lap and though the dress she wore was black he knew it was drenched in blood. He could smell it on her, but he knew that none of that had been the Pepper that he loved so dearly. None of those acts had been committed by the woman that he loved. 

 

“Marry me,” he managed to cough out. He was sincere though he knew he wouldn’t live long enough for it to happen. He started to cough like crazy, like he was coughing up a lung. He could feel the blood coughing up out of his mouth. 

 

She let out a laugh, but she was crying. Pepper caressed his cheek as her tears fell onto his face. “Yes,” she barely whispered through her sobs. 

 

“Kill him…and leave him,” Killian commanded Pepper from behind them.

 

He could see it in her face. She loved him and she wanted to be with him. There was light in her eyes again, but at the same time…there was something dark there. Tony didn’t know if it was the evil version or if it was because she’d experienced all the killing through her eyes as it had happened. He just wanted to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay. He couldn’t do that.

 

“Do it now!” Killian shouted.

 

Tony watched as Killian yanked Pepper back away from him. He fell, his head falling against the ground, as her lap disappeared from where it had been cushioning his head. Tony was sure that he was going to die. Killian was going to kill him. He wanted to close his eyes, but at the same time he wanted Pepper to be the last thing he saw. And as Killian held Pepper close, Tony could see the change in her.

 

“Time to kill him, Sweetheart,” Killian said far too sweetly as he looked from Pepper to Tony. Killian was going to enjoy his death the most.

 

As Tony stared up at Pepper he could see the change in her eyes, like she was fighting. It was too late for him though. He had no helmet, so no HUD, and no JARVIS but he knew his systems were fried.

 

“It’s okay,” he whispered.

 

Pepper whispered back. “No!”

 

. . .

 

EARLIER...

 

“Sir, are you sure that you are up for this?” JARVIS asked. “The Mark Fifty’s armor is at seventy-five percent durability.”

 

“It’s going to have to work,” Tony responded. “It’s all we have…and I have to at least try…” 

 

Whenever they’d pop up, Killian and Pepper, he’d try to intercept them and try to quell the destruction that he was sure was taking place. Wherever they went, it always ended bloody. JARVIS had a running count of casualties since everything started, but Tony didn’t like to hear the number. He knew that it was too many innocent people. And though it was Pepper, it wasn’t the real Pepper. Killian had done something to her, he was absolutely sure. There was no way that his sweet Pepper would kill women and children. 

 

It had been like this for almost a year, Pepper being gone. At first he’d thought that Killian had killed Pepper, but she’d made the media six months ago. It hadn’t been the Pepper that he knew and loved though. Everywhere that the world conquering Extremis superpowered duo went, there was blood and death and destruction… Tony didn’t care about how the publicity had affected the company, Stark Industries would survive one way or another. It always did. He was more interested in getting to Pepper and trying to find the woman he loved and knew inside of her.

 

Everyday there was something new and he’d tried to get SHIELD to help, but they’d seemed occupied with other things. He had hated them for it at first, but now he wondered if it was a good thing. Maybe it was for the best that SHIELD wasn’t involved, he’d started to consider the fact that Fury might not even blink at giving the order to end not only Killian, but Pepper as well. He wouldn’t let that happen. 

 

“Sir, you wanted to be updated when you were closer,” JARVIS spoke up. “Ms. Potts and—“

 

“We need to figure out a codename for her or something,” Tony said. “Because that’s not Pepper…it looks like her, but the brain is not Pepper…”

 

“You’ve said that on every mission,” JARVIS pointed out. “You have yet to assign her such a codename.”

 

“I thought you were doing that.”

 

“You did not inform me that I should select one, Sir.”

 

“Just let’s call her the clone for now,” Tony suggested.

 

“She is not a clone, Sir,” JARVIS pointed out.

 

Tony sighed. “I know that…but she’s the evil version of Pepper…”

 

“If you insist on using an inaccurate codename, I am happy to oblige, Sir,” JARVIS informed him. 

 

“Great,” Tony commented dryly.

 

“As I was saying, the clone and Killian have been positively identified and located,” JARVIS said. 

 

“Location?”

 

“Haiti.”

 

Tony sighed. For the last year, Killian had mainly focused on conquering Africa and parts of the Middle East. Killian had taken out most of the areas with the least human development. Tony had thought that he’d be more interested in going after Europe or China...somewhere that was on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. He was building an army, he knew that. Maybe he considered it some kind of master race, Tony couldn’t be sure. Everywhere he went, he made more Extremis soldiers that would ensure the area was kept secure for him. Some places had to be more important to him than others because there was footage of Killian and the ‘clone’ killing every single inhabitant of the area that they landed in. 

 

“Lay in a course,” Tony said and then sighed. 

 

“Sir, there’s a message coming in from Director Fury of SHIELD,” JARVIS announced. “Shall I put him through?”

 

Tony wondered if SHIELD was going to try to step in now, why couldn’t they have done that back when he thought that Pepper was dead? “I probably really don’t have a choice.”

 

“He is rather insistent that he speak to you immediately,” JARVIS responded. “Patching him through now.”

 

“Stark, hold your position,” Fury commanded.

 

“I didn’t think I was under your command,” Tony argued. “It’s been a year since Pepper was taken… You haven’t cared about my position all this time. Why the sudden interest?”

 

“You’re pursuing your girl and Killian?” 

 

Tony still really didn’t like to refer to that woman killing people as his Pepper, it wasn’t true. “I’m going to stop the killing and get Pepper back… The real Pepper…” He really wouldn’t mind if SHIELD actually helped, but he wouldn’t allow them to get in the way. He felt like he was close this time. He didn’t feel like anything would stop him. Or at least, he hoped nothing would.

 

“They’ve done enough harm,” Fury said. “My intel has informed me that Killian is going to move onto the more developed countries. We’re going to take him out now before he brings down any more destruction onto the world.”

 

“So, what? You’re going to blow Haiti off the map?”

 

“That’s the general plan.”

 

And he sounded absolutely serious. Tony knew that those with the Extremis virus were hard to kill. They’d believed that Killian was dead and gone, but he’d come back stronger and angrier than ever. “There are innocent people there,” Tony told him. “There’s no way that they’ve completely desolated the population of Haiti in this amount of time. There’s no way of knowing if that’s even the plan. They might just be claiming it as their own.”

 

“It’s worth the sacrifice,” Fury stated. “It’s already been agreed upon.”

 

“And what about Pepper?”

 

“She’s really not Pepper anymore, is she?”

 

Tony struggled with what he knew was coming. He believed in Pepper and he knew that she was still deep inside and waiting to be saved. “She’s in there.” 

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

“You have to at least give me a chance to get through to her,” Tony begged. He was going to do what he wanted anyways, but sometimes having Fury’s blessing came in handy when it came to certain circumstances.

 

“We’re already on our way, Stark,” Fury said. “You wouldn’t have enough time.”

 

“I’ll take any time I can get,” Tony told him. 

 

There was a pause. “Fine, but you need to be out of there the next time I contact you. I don’t care if you’ve gotten through to her or not. I want you out of my drop zone. Am I clear?”

 

“Clear,” Tony replied reluctantly. 

 

“Godspeed.”

 

Tony was pretty sure he was going to need a miracle to get to the ‘clone’ and Killian in time and get through to his Pepper in time, let alone getting away from there with her. He’d thought about just swooping in, grabbing the ‘clone’, and just flying off with her and hoping that she wouldn’t kill him before he could regain his sweet Pepper. He was going to get through to her and get her back or he would die trying. That was it. There was nothing else.

 

“Sir, two minutes.”

 

“Keep a location lock on any incoming SHIELD aircraft,” Tony requested.

 

“As always, Sir.”

 

“This is my last chance,” Tony breathed. It was hard to think that. Every other time he’d faced off with Killian and the ‘clone’, it hadn’t gone well. She hadn’t seemed to know who he was other than he was an enemy. He just wasn’t sure how he was going to get through to her, but he knew he had to. This was it. If he couldn’t, then Fury was going to do his best to kill her along with Killian and the rest of the inhabitants on Haiti. He wondered if that was the plan, burn Africa and any other area that Killian had conquered until there was nothing left but the Earth itself. 

 

Their position on Haiti came up on his HUD and Tony pulled in a deep breath. This was it. This would determine everything.

 

. . .

 

As he took steps towards Killian and the ‘clone’, Tony took in their surroundings. This wasn’t anything new, but it was still a terrifying thing to witness. All around were dead bodies; they were bloody, mutilated, and burned. The bodies on top were writhing and screaming in pain. Killian had administered the Extremis virus. It had changed a lot in a year. Instead of needing the victim hooked up to an IV on a drip, it could now be administered through one large dose. Most didn’t survive...those who didn’t suffered greatly and begged for death. This is why Fury and his bosses had chosen their course of action, Tony realized. They’d be stopping suffering on a large scale in Haiti. After all, it wasn’t just who Killian or the ‘clone’ could get to, but the Extremis army he’d brought with him. 

 

He looked up to see Killian up on a mountain of bloody bodies, his white suit almost completely soaked in the crimson liquid. She was standing there next to him in a loose, long flowing black dress. He knew she was soaked in blood too, but it didn’t show up on the dress. Her arms were streaked with it though. 

 

Tony realized that this was a graveyard, whether it had been on before or not. It was now. It felt like half of the world was one because of Killian. It had to stop. Tony just didn’t know if he’d be alive when it did. He just hoped that whatever SHIELD had planned would actually stop Extremis because so far, most things seemed to merely slow it. 

 

“Well, well…” Killian spoke up. “I hadn’t expected to see you here…”

 

He was speaking directly to him. “You know why I’m here…”

 

“To reclaim Pepper? I thought the last time that it was made clear that she’s no longer yours,” Killian said. He looked from Tony to the woman at his side and then back to Tony. “I really didn’t want to kill you...not yet… I rather like you having to endure the destruction of your world… Why don’t you fly off now before things get messy?”

 

“What did you do to her?” he called out. This was the first time he’d been so straightforward. Whenever they came in close to the ‘clone’, JARVIS would always start a scan. So far, he hadn’t found anything that was of help. Tony didn’t know if it was because she’d been brainwashed or if there was some kind of hardware controlling her if it was more organic...or something that had been added to the Extremis.

 

“That must just be eating you alive,” Killian said with a smirk. He reached out and his hand went through her red hair and then along her neck until it rested at the bottom of her neck. “You’ll never get close enough to do anything about it, Stark… It’s not mind control...it’s just something to remind her who she really is… That’s all.”

 

“JARVIS,” Tony spoke up. “Scan better.”

 

“It could be the Extremis heat signature interfering with my scans, Sir,” JARVIS replied. “Perhaps if we were closer.”

 

There was no way they were safely going to be able to get closer. Tony thought about it, but he knew that no matter what, Killian was going to protect her even if she was more than capable. Tony had to try though. He couldn’t just give up. “You know I can’t just leave…”

 

“You should have appreciated what you had when you had her, Stark,” Killian told him. “She’s mine now.”

 

The sound of church bells filled the area and Tony wondered if where they stood was originally a graveyard before Killian dropped bodies left and right. He set his sights on her and wondered if he could ever get through to her. If there was any hope left. She’d been with Killian for a year, in that time he could have done a number of things to her in order to keep her loyal to him. 

 

Get closer.

 

“I’m not going anywhere, Killian,” Tony told him. He was really hoping that this wasn’t just a flat out stupid move on his part. It really was a toss-up either way. He held his arms out. “If you’re going to kill me, then let’s just get it done with,” Tony challenged. He was hoping that Killian would ignore him or that perhaps he and the ‘clone’ would both approach him, so that JARVIS could get a better scan. 

 

Killian started to charge him and Tony just stayed where he was, unmoving, his arms still straight out. He waited and knew that it was going to hurt. He kept his eyes focused on the ‘clone’. She started to slowly follow Killian’s path. As she stepped down from the mountain of bodies, the slit in the dress revealed her blood stained bare legs and that she was barefoot. Even though he knew that she was deadly, he couldn’t not think of her as gorgeous even in the state she was in. 

 

And then Killian collided with him.

 

The heat of Killian’s hands on his upper arms. Tony gritted his teeth as JARVIS informed him of what was happening and alarms sounded. Everything bounced off the inside of his helmet. The heat was melting his armor, the inside and the outside. He could feel it against his skin, but anything was worth the pain if it meant that he might save Pepper… 

 

He could endure anything for her.

 

Killian punched him square in the chest, knocking him back at least fifteen feet before he hit the ground. He didn’t think he could move his arms. He knew that if the arc reactor in the suit was damaged then he was effectively screwed. The machine needed the power to operate. He didn’t have an arc reactor in his chest anymore to try to help run things. He relied solely on that power source. If he was dead in the water then he knew that Killian would really take advantage of the situation and kick him around like a tin can.

 

“I want her back!” Tony yelled as he sat back up and then got to his feet. The ‘clone’ was at Killian’s side now, she almost was curled into his side. It made Tony sick and all he wanted to do was kill Killian more. He’d taken everything away from him except his own life and legacy. Tony didn’t care if Killian took everything from him, just as long as he could die knowing that Pepper was safe and sound.

 

“She’s mine,” Killian said calmly. “But maybe I should let her prove that to you…” He turned to the ‘clone’ and spoke sweetly. “Sweetheart, I know you’ll do anything for me… Why don’t you show Mr. Stark here exactly where your loyalties lie? Kill him and put him out of his misery…” He turned back to Tony. “Though, I’ll admit, I’d much rather you suffer the rest of your life...and die alone.”

 

The ‘clone’ moved away from Killian and started to approach him. Tony was terrified. “JARVIS, you better be scanning…”

 

“I will alert you when I have something, Sir,” JARVIS informed him.

 

“Work fast!”

 

“Working as fast as possible, Sir.”

 

The ‘clone’ was much slower on her advances than Killian had been. She took her time and was an image of fluid gracefulness even in the destruction and death that surrounded them. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. As she came closer, he knew that he couldn’t just rely on JARVIS. So, he flipped open his faceplate so that she could see his face. He just hoped that it would help her to remember who she was. Who she really was. 

 

“Pep, please… Come home with me,” he pleaded. “Whatever Killian’s done to you, I’ll figure out how to fix it.”

 

“She doesn’t need to be fixed, Tony,” Killian spoke up. “Look at her! She’s magnificent!”

 

And she was…

 

She always had been.

 

Killian had always thought that she needed to be perfected, but Tony always saw how perfect she was the way she was. This magnificence he saw, it was all Pepper. It wasn’t the Extremis virus. Extremis just helped her heal and made her more powerful. The biggest thing he currently noticed was how dead her eyes looked. He didn’t know if it was just him, but her normally brilliant blue eyes almost seemed black. Pepper had it all without Extremis, without the superpowers. She was beautiful, intelligent, and strong. She didn’t need Extremis and she’d never wanted it. 

 

“Pep, I know you’re still in there…” Tony said. “You don’t have to do what Killian wants… You and I, we can fight it together…”

 

She didn’t speak, but kept walking towards him. She finally reached out and grabbed his neck with her thin hand. When she clamped down, he felt it. She stared at him right in the eyes. There was such darkness there and Tony was starting to wonder if Pepper was still inside the empty vessel he saw before him. 

 

Was it hopeless? 

 

Was there where he was going to die?

 

At her hands?

 

If he was going to die, then at least he wouldn’t see what would come next. He wouldn’t see and have to live through SHIELD dropping their bombs on Haiti and wiping out Killian, Pepper, the Extremis soldiers, and the people of Haiti. If it was going to get to that point then he really didn’t want to live anyways. This last year had been hard enough. He wouldn’t live in a world where such hopelessness and his beloved Pepper didn’t exist. 

 

“Sir! I have a detected a device attached to the base of the clones’ neck. It may possibly be disrupted by external means,” JARVIS reported.

 

Tony didn’t have to be prompted anymore than that. He placed his hand back around her neck and set off a mild repulsor blast. For a moment, he could see her eyes change. He wondered if there was hope all of the sudden, but then he felt heat in her hands as her hands moved from his throat to his chest. She felt like she was crushing him. Tony just stared at her. “Pepper, please…” he begged. “Don’t do this…”

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	2. Spectrum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Mac goes to the Apple store to find out for sure if it's fried. Cross fingers!

And when we come back we'll be dressed in black!  

And you'll scream our names aloud!  

And we won't eat and we won't sleep!  

We'll drag bodies from their graves!  

~ “Spectrum” by Florence & the Machine

 

. . .

 

PRESENT

 

“Stark! Respond!” 

 

He’d blacked out, he didn’t know for how long. Natasha was screaming in his ear though and he noticed that Killian and Pepper were hovering over him. It wasn’t the ‘clone’, he could see that. It was his Pepper. He wondered if Fury would still order for the bomb or whatever their plan was to be deployed if they knew that Pepper was there...if they knew that he was there...though he wasn’t sure for how much longer he could hold on. 

 

“Sir, I am detecting--”

 

“Shut up, JARVIS,” Tony said and closed his faceplate for a moment. He needed the privacy. Killian didn’t need to hear anything he needed to say to Natasha or SHIELD. “I need you to send the video that I know you recorded from when Pepper was talking to me...when she was holding me,” Tony tried to specify. He felt like he wasn’t going to make it through what he wanted to do so badly. “Natasha, you have to keep Fury from doing whatever he’s going to do,” Tony said.

 

“You have to get out of there, Stark,” Natasha told him.

 

“I can’t… There’s no way I can fly out of here… And there’s no way for me to get Pepper out in time,” Tony said. “She’s there… Killian had a device… JARVIS can forward you the information…”

 

“Tony, you have to get out of there.”

 

He needed them to help him out. He couldn’t die knowing that Pepper had to die there too. SHIELD needed to get their asses down there and get her to safety before they did whatever they planned on doing. She really was an innocent in it all. “Please…” he whispered and then started to cough. Tony had the faceplate lift again. He looked into her eyes and could see that his Pepper had gone away again. He must not have done enough damage to the tech that Killian had implanted into her.

“Do it,” Killian commanded. 

 

She was staring down at him and he could see that she was struggling with what she was supposed to do. Was it really Pepper? Was she struggling for control? Tony wanted to yell at him when Killian grabbed her arm, but he stayed quiet. He wasn’t going to seal his own death before he could see if she was actually there. 

 

“Do it now!”

 

“No,” Tony heard her barely whisper.

 

Killian slapped her across the face and Tony cringed. He knew that her body would heal, but he didn’t think that was advisable with someone who was superpowered by Extremis. “You do what I say!” 

 

Pepper looked at him and she looked so confused. He wondered if she knew what was happening. If she’d seen it all. Or if it was like he pushed her to the back of her brain and just took over… Either way, his poor Pepper looked completely terrified. That didn’t last long as her eyes darkened and her expression changed to a determined one. She snapped up straight and eyed Killian. “I’ll prove my loyalties,” she told him. She turned towards Tony and he knew that he was in trouble. This was not his Pepper, it was like he’d gotten the switch stuck so that it kept flip flopping between the two. She reached down and pulled at the armor of his arm, but then stopped once his screams fully filled the air. Her eyes changed and Tony swore she was going to cry. 

 

His skin felt like it was fused to the parts of the arms of the suit where Killian had superheated. Tony just stared at her and he watched her. Her hands moved from his shoulder down to the elbow. Her hands weren’t grabbing like before, they were meticulous and gentle as they pried the armor away from him. She’d moved to the part where his flesh hadn’t fused with machine and then withdrew it. 

 

“I’m sorry,” she barely whispered as tears flooded her face. Slowly, Pepper pulled on the partial Iron Man armor arm. 

 

He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He remembered when she’d used a piece of his discarded armor like this before. When she held it up at him and he could see the repulsor coming at him, he didn’t flinch. It shoved him backwards as the beam hit him square in the chest. The arc reactor immediately went out and he didn’t even worry about what could happen if it was compromised. None of it mattered.

 

Tony could see her, standing there, glove still over her hand. Her bright blue eyes were muddled with tears and he knew that she hadn’t wanted to hurt him. She was keeping herself alive and that’s what he wanted her to do. His vision was blurring to black and he couldn’t breathe well. But she was safe, right now that’s what mattered.

 

“Finish him,” Killian barked.

 

Pepper raised her palm towards him again and he just continued to stare at her. He hoped that Natasha was able to convince Fury that there was more value in SHIELD coming and getting them than just following through with their plan of mass destruction. Tony blinked, barely keeping it together. At the final moment, Pepper swung around and shot Killian with the repulsor blaster at point blank range and then again and again. 

 

“That’s my girl,” he whispered with pride. 

 

She was okay.

 

“Tony!” she screamed just as the world went black.

 

. . .

 

A YEAR AGO…

 

Life was moving faster than ever. Tony just wanted to grab Pepper and wait for it to slow down around them. They’d made up for Christmas, celebrating late once Happy was out of the hospital and in Manhattan at Stark Tower. After all, the only thing that really mattered was that they were all together and okay. 

 

“Pep, c’mon… You promised we could talk about this,” Tony complained as he followed her around their suite.

 

“I didn’t mean before I left,” Pepper told him and then turned to face him with a sigh. “I’m supposed to be across town, Tony… I told you that you didn’t have to go with me, but you know I hate to be late.”

 

She was absolutely breathtaking, as usual, but this time she was far more dressed up. Her hair was half up and half down with curls cascading down her shoulders. She was wearing a white dress and Tony was really thinking about how it would look so much better on the floor rather than on her. Besides wanting it on the floor, it brought visions of a wedding and Tony got to thinking that maybe it really was time that he proposed. What was he really waiting for? Obviously the bad guys were going to keep coming...Killian had been more than proof of that. He really wanted to hold her tight though. Tony knew that right now he just needed to remember that life was short and he needed to grasp that reality. Just the same, he really wanted to skip to the part where she was already home.

 

“You’re undressing me, aren’t you?” Pepper asked with half disgust.

 

“What?” Tony asked, snapping out of his thoughts.

 

“That’s what I thought,” she responded in amusement.

 

Tony sighed. “Pep, I just wanted to build a small lab is all…”

 

“I thought you weren’t going to have so many distractions?” Pepper asked.

 

“You do realize that you’re the biggest distraction in my life,” Tony pointed out and then pulled her close. He kissed her and really wished that he didn’t have to let her go. Why hadn’t he figured out a way to talk her out of going to the charity gala? 

 

She sighed again. “Tony…”

 

“You said that this is home...at least for now,” Tony told her. “I just… I wanted to have my own corner of the world here… I’m not talking about building another Iron Legion--”

 

“Yeah, next time, you might want to tell me how much tinkering you’re doing when it comes to making an army of armor…”

 

Tony shrugged. “It helped.”

 

She smiled at that. “We have to rebuild here...but we don’t need to rebuild everything,” Pepper told him. “And we don’t need to rebuild everything right away.”

 

“JARVIS needs it,” Tony tried. He knew that it was stupid, but he figured that it was worth a try. It just didn’t feel like home unless he had his part of the world to go to. He needed that place where all of his madness makes sense.

 

“Please do not involve me in your domestic arguments, Sir,” JARVIS spoke up.

 

“Can’t we just go over this tomorrow?”

 

“You said we could talk about it over breakfast this morning and then you were in a meeting,” Tony argued.

 

Pepper just stared at him. He knew that stare. He really wasn’t winning anything with her. “I explained this to you… Even though we moved our base of operations, as it were, from Malibu to Manhattan because the house was blown up and dropped into the ocean...Stark Industries has to go on. I’m still CEO, unless you’re stepping up to the plate and you haven’t informed me yet, which means that I have to take meetings before noon.”

 

“I was up before noon…”

 

Pepper smiled at him. “But I had already had breakfast and two meetings by the time you got up.”

 

“You should have woken me up,” Tony told her. He sighed. It wasn’t his fault. He’d had a really hard time sleeping in Stark Tower. He still had the nightmares, though he lied to Pepper and told her that it was insomnia. He didn’t want her to worry. Instead, he’d been playing Candy Crush on his phone while she slept soundly beside him. 

 

“JARVIS announced the wake-up call as usual,” Pepper said. “It wasn’t quieter than normal...you were just completely out.”

 

“Pepper--”

 

“Tony, I have to go,” she told him. She looked at him quite seriously. “If it’s going to make you happy...you can start ordering the things you need… But it has to be downsized from what you had in Malibu… We don’t have the excess room for it here. I need all floors of R&D.” She leaned in and kissed him. “I love you.”

 

He smiled. She was the best woman in the world. “I love you, too,” Tony echoed. He watched her as she headed for the elevator. She really was a vision in white. He really couldn’t wait until she got home. Tony figured that maybe he’d try to take a little nap while she was gone, since if the nightmares came...he didn’t have to worry about waking her or frightening her. He was also still a little worried about calling armor in his sleep even though he’d adjusted that setting. Tony just hadn’t wanted to do anything to mess up his relationship with Pepper. 

 

. . . 

 

Tony had been home for nearly two hours when the intelligent thing finally hit him. He needed to go to that gala. He needed to be with Pepper. He sighed and dropped the tablet he’d been pretending to make a shopping list on. It really hadn’t been going well at all. He figured it was because he was supposed to be somewhere else. 

 

With Pepper. 

 

“JARVIS, have a suit ready. I need to be across town.”

 

“Do you have a specific one you prefer?”

 

“Whichever one is going to get me there,” Tony told him as he walked to the bedroom. He walked into the closet and went right to where he knew that one of his tuxes was. He knew that he could make it across town a lot faster in one of his suits and he needed to make up for lost time. Sometimes Tony felt like he was stupid when it came to Pepper. Though, in his defense, she really was always the biggest distraction in his life. 

 

He screwed up a lot and he really needed to figure out how to make things work in Manhattan. Pepper had seemed fine. She was working non-stop, like normal, and she had seemed to slide right into her role in Stark Tower just as easily as she had when he’d appointed her CEO of the company. Tony knew that they both needed to still work on living in the moment. It wasn’t only the moment, but the moments. They needed to make them and they needed to experience them together. 

 

Life was too short. 

 

Tony looked at himself in the mirror as he tied the black bowtie. He looked sharp, though he wasn’t surprised. “Okay, JARVIS… Time to go… Tell me you have a suit ready!”

 

“I think you should look at the newscast first, Sir,” JARVIS said and turned on the nearest TV and turned it to the news before Tony could respond.

 

He approached it and watched in horror. The building that the charity gala that Pepper was attending was in rumble. The headline read: ‘Charity event bombed. No survivors.’and Tony felt like he was having an anxiety attack. “No,” he whispered as he took a step back. The newscast suddenly replayed the building exploding and collapsing. It went down extremely fast and he had no idea what could do that. 

 

“I need that suit, JARVIS,” he said a few minutes later. 

 

Tony didn’t care what the news said, he needed to go there and see it all for himself. He needed to scan the wreckage. He needed to find Pepper. Maybe she was stuck in traffic? Maybe she’d stepped outside? Maybe she was safe? He had to think that. He couldn’t have lost her while he was home doing something so stupid. 

 

“JARVIS, tell me that Pepper’s GPS on her phone is still on,” Tony said as the pocket door in the common area slid back to ready for the armor that had been hidden away in the building. He had two sets right now and he just hoped that whichever one it was actually could do what he needed to have done. 

 

“I’m afraid that her GPS is online and that the location is the building that the gala was being held in,” JARVIS spoke up.

 

“Call it.”

 

And it rang.

 

And rang.

 

And rang.

 

Voicemail picked up and JARVIS ended it before he could say anything else. 

 

Tony started to pace as the armor started to assemble over his tux clad body. His mind was racing and he was concentrating on breathing. He tried to think of an excuse that the GPS would say she was there, but not be in the building. She couldn’t be. 

 

“The GPS uses the towers and--”

 

“I was using the Stark Industries satellites in order to pinpoint Ms. Potts’ phone, Sir. The company’s satellite system is far more precise than the standard carrier phone towers,” JARVIS explained.

 

“What about Happy? Call Happy…” Tony said. “He drove her… He has to be there standing with her… She’s probably in shock… He probably didn’t even think to call me or--”

 

The call will not go through, Sir.

 

“Why not?”

 

“There are several reasons, Sir,” JARVIS announced. “Shall I list them?”

 

“No,” Tony said in quick frustration.

 

. . . 

 

Tony had been scanning the building for over two hours. He’d finally gotten in touch with Happy, but he’d been unable to reach Pepper or get through the police line. Happy had sounded like he’d given up hope. Tony just couldn’t. Maybe it was cliche, but he didn’t feel like she was dead. He loved her with all his being, shouldn’t he know if she were dead? Shouldn’t he feel it deep within him?

 

“Sir, Mr. Hogan is on the line,” JARVIS spoke up.

 

“Tell him I’ll meet him back at the tower,” Tony said as he continued to take in the scans. 

 

Nothing.

 

Nothing.

 

Nothing.

 

“Sir, you’ve the same information as the search and rescue below has come up with. There are no survivors. I’m sorry, Sir. Ms. Potts is dead.”

 

“Don’t say that.”

 

“Sir--”

 

“Pepper could have left--”

 

“That is very unlikely--”

 

“I don’t care if it’s fucking impossible! Pepper isn’t dead! I would know!” he yelled at JARVIS. He still believed that deep down. There was something wrong. He didn’t know what it was, but there was something wrong. Pepper wasn’t dead...he was going to find her… He just hoped that it wouldn’t take days.

 

“Sir--”

 

“Shut up, JARVIS!” 

 

“But Sir, the local authorities are requesting your assistance on the ground,” JARVIS told him. 

 

Tony sighed. What could he do? They knew exactly what he did. Why did they need to talk to him? He’d made sure that he was staying out of their way, so there really wasn’t any reason that they should need to talk to him. “Why?”

 

“They wish to compare findings,” JARVIS spoke up.

 

“Tell them what the scans show,” Tony said. “I can’t… I can’t go down there…”

 

“Relaying information.”

 

He moved his position and scanned again. Tony only thought about her. He thought about her smile. He thought about her laugh. He thought about the sound of her voice. He thought about how absolutely beautiful she was. He thought about how she’d looked angelic in the white dress she’d left in. And above all else, he thought about how lucky he was that she loved him. 

 

“Come on, Pep…” Tony whispered.

 

As horrible as he knew it was, all he was concerned about was one life sign. Hers. That was it. Tony would rip apart the debris if he had to in order to get to her. He’d do anything in the world for Pepper. He’d give his own life if it meant that she would be saved. 

 

“You’re not dead,” he continued to whisper to himself.

 

At least JARVIS had left him alone. Sometimes his AI was too annoying for his own good and didn’t know when to shut up until he screamed it at him. There were just some things that you could only fully understand as an actual human being. Tony feeling like Pepper wasn’t dead was one of them. 

 

No matter how many times he switched positions and scanned, the results were always the same.

 

Nothing.

 

He was always disappointed. But he just couldn’t shake the thought that she wasn’t dead. Was it just because he didn’t want to come to grips with the reality of that truth? Was he in shock? Or was it really because deep down, he knew it in his soul that she was alive? No matter what the HUD was telling him, she was out there alive.

 

He couldn’t let it go.

 

Tony sighed. It had been hours of scans and hovering around the fallen building. The scans had all come up with the same results. “No,” he whispered. He didn’t want to go back to the tower. He couldn’t face Happy… And worse of all, he couldn’t face himself in the mirror. “I should have been there with her.”

 

. . . 

 

TBC…


	3. Only If For The Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news... Apple seems to be able to repair the Mac for a lot less than it would cost to buy a new one! The repair costs just may have to be my birthday/Christmas present... It'll be worth it though! I'm hoping to have it back next week sometime!

Then I heard your voice as clear as day,  

And you told me I should concentrate,  

It was all so strange,  And so surreal,  

That a ghost should be so practical.

~ “Only if for the night” by Florence & the Machine

 

. . .

 

It was dark and he felt cold. For a long time, that was all he knew. There had eventually been beeping and a low hum that sometimes got louder. The beeping was consistent though and somehow calming. Even though there were sounds, he still felt like he was six feet under in a grave. Or was this hell? Would the beeping and hum eventually just drive him crazy? Tony wasn’t sure.

 

“Please!”

 

Tony stopped and tried to concentrate. The voice had been faint, but familiar. It was definitely a woman’s voice and she sounded upset. He tried to move towards it, but he didn’t know what direction it came from, it had sounded like it had come from all directions. In truth, Tony didn’t even know if he was sitting, standing, or lying down. He didn’t know which way was up or down, left or right. 

 

“Tony!” 

 

The voice was unsettling. He wasn’t sure why. She was louder, whoever she was. He didn’t know. He really couldn’t think of anything. He was trying though. Tony tried to relax and think. He tried to think of who he was. Right now, all he knew was that he was Tony and that he was cold and in the dark (in more than one way). 

 

“Please! Let me see him!” 

 

Her voice was louder and crisp. The hum was so loud that he felt like he’d become deaf from it and then suddenly, it turned into words. People were trying to keep her back and it sounded like there were more people coming. 

 

His world was lighting up and suddenly it was like he’d been hit by a truck, the memories hit him. “Pepper,” he mumbled under his breath. It was Pepper. He remembered the bloody heap of corpses, Killian and Pepper, and her eyes...how they kept switching… How he knew that his beloved Pepper was alive in there. He didn’t care what anyone else said, Pepper hadn’t died a year ago. 

 

“Please don’t do this!” she screamed.

 

Tony pushed against the darkness and the cold. “Pepper!” he called. He thrashed and his eyes finally flew open. He was up in a painful sitting position, but he was tethered by wires and tubes. “Pepper!” he tried to scream, but it came out strangled and hoarse. He blinked rapidly and tried to take in where he was.

 

Medical.

 

Hospital?

 

No, he realized. 

 

Red hair came into view and at first he thought it was Pepper, but it was Natasha Romanoff. But then a different shade came into view and he knew that Pepper was right there with her. Natasha was holding her back. Pepper was trying to push back, tears running down her face, and looking so worried. 

 

It was all worth it, he thought.

 

They were on SHIELD’s helicarrier and Pepper was safe. That’s all he had wanted. Killian had to be dead then, or at least incapacitated, Tony figured. He was hoping that it was the former though. Aldrich Killian really needed to pay for everything he’d done, but really Tony felt like death was the best way to ensure that there was no more mass destruction or massacre. 

 

“Just let her...just for a minute,” he heard Natasha say to someone else. He’d remembered that he’d heard a lot of people, but from where he was, he could only see Natasha and Pepper through the open doorway. 

 

“You don’t know if that’s safe,” he heard, but didn’t know who it was. A man’s voice, that’s all he knew. 

 

Pepper was just staring at him, tears still staining her face. Tony just wanted to hold her and tell her that he was glad that she was safe. He wanted to tell Natasha that they had to remove whatever Killian had attached to the back of her neck. He wanted to know that everything would be taken care of before he couldn’t hang on any longer. 

 

“Pep,” Tony whispered and lifted his arm. He felt like he was going to collapse, which was completely possible. He just hoped that if he did, it was backwards and not over onto the floor. He couldn’t hear what was said, but he knew that Natasha had sounded firm, angry, and insistent. A moment later, though, Natasha was at his bedside with Pepper. He just stared up at Pepper. She was beautiful, even though she looked like hell. “Hey,” he whispered. 

 

“I’ll get some water,” Natasha said. Tony noticed that Natasha had been holding one of her hands, but then she placed Pepper’s hand on his closest one. 

 

“Hi,” Pepper barely whispered. More tears fell from her face and she looked down.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked and started to cough. His whole body racked with the cough. He really felt like he was going to pass out now. She put a hand on his back and put the other on his shoulder and eased him back to the bed. It was upright in a sitting position, so that at least he didn’t have far to reach for her. Her hand slid from his shoulder to his hand and held onto it.

 

“Don’t worry about me,” Pepper whispered.

 

“They need to--” he started to say, but another fit of coughs cut him off. 

 

Natasha was back and she handed Pepper a cup of water. He was grateful that whatever was happening, that Natasha was letting him see Pepper. Pepper carefully helped him by holding the cup and tipping it. “Rest,” she whispered and leaned in to kiss his forehead. 

 

“They need to remove the device,” Tony started.

 

“We know,” Natasha spoke up. “JARVIS has relayed all of the information already.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Pepper whispered as she kissed his cheek and then it dissolved into sobs. Her forehead rested against his temple. “I’m so, so sorry, Tony…”

 

“It’s okay, Honey…” Tony whispered. “You’re safe now…” That was really all he cared about. He just hoped that Natasha would keep her safe. 

 

“I did--”

 

“Shh…” Tony whispered and closed his eyes as he just savored having her so close again. “I was serious, you know,” he whispered. “You said yes…”

 

. . .

 

SIX MONTHS AGO

 

Tony had been drinking, again. It dulled the pain a bit, though he didn’t think enough. He’d been trying his best to run the company, but things had gone downhill. Happy had even suggested getting an assistant or promoting someone as a temporary CEO for the time being, but that only reminded him that Pepper wasn’t there. Those were both jobs that only Pepper could do. 

 

“If I have to get up and get my ass out of bed, then you need to, too,” Happy told him as he pulled the bedding that covered Tony off of him and then left it in a heap on the ground. 

 

Tony sighed. This was what they’d been doing the last few days. He just wanted to drink and hope that one day he wouldn’t wake up. No one was helping him find Pepper because she was dead for all accounts. There’d been a funeral, which he’d refused to go to...and it had been all over the news and media. The whole world had mourned the loss of everyone in that building, which included his beloved Pepper.

 

“I swear, sometimes I wonder if you want me to go out and dig you a grave and just push you in,” Happy said in frustration.

 

Tony sat up and groaned. He was sure that death was more comforting than this feeling right now. “I was more hoping that you’d just send me off a cliff into the ocean in one of my cars,” Tony countered.

 

Happy sighed. “JARVIS, let’s get some light in here--”

 

“No, no, no--”

 

JARVIS complied with Happy’s wishes. The windows slowly became completely translucent and pulled in the bright light from the outside world. 

 

“Gah! I hate you, Happy!” he yelled as he covered his eyes. He couldn’t take the light. It was too much. His head was pounding and he was pretty sure that he was going to throw up. He got to his feet and tried to stagger to the bathroom with his hands still covering his face. 

 

“I hate you too,” Happy replied, obviously frustrated.

 

Tony fell over the heap of blankets. “Fuck!” he yelled in frustration before getting to his feet and locking himself in the bathroom. At least he could control the light in there. First though, he was going to throw up.

 

Eventually, he got in the hot shower and just stood there for a long time. He thought about how different his life had been six months ago. How he’d been so stupid to let Pepper go to that charity event alone. No matter how many times people told him that he would have just died as well, he had a feeling that he could have gotten her out in time. She had held his world together for so long and without her there, he just didn’t want to live. He didn’t feel like he had any purpose. He wanted to be mad at someone other than himself. The police hadn’t come up with anything and maybe if they had, he’d feel like he could move on. He couldn’t.

 

Tears fell from his eyes and mixed with the water that fell over him. He thought of her, all her smiles. All of the faces she made when she was upset with him. All of the kisses. All of the times that he knew that he couldn’t live without her. The final time he’d walked her leave Stark Tower in that white dress. He’d never fully explained to her how much he’d loved her. How much she meant to him. Tony had always assumed that she knew and understood, but that wasn’t the same as him telling her that he needed her more than air.

 

The tears turned into sobs and he held onto the tile wall of the shower for support. He knew that Happy was right. He needed to move on and deal with the pain, but it was agony and he just didn’t know how to get past all of his regrets. He didn’t know how to make all of that right. He’d screwed up so much in his life, he didn’t know how to continue on living and actually to live without the woman who had been his heart and conscience. He needed her. 

 

“Pep, please…” he said as he pounding against the tile with his fist until it became bloody. He looked upward. Tony didn’t believe in God, but if somehow he could hear her again, then he’d believe in the guy. “Please...tell me what to do… Tell me what you want me to do… I don’t know what to do without you here… I just… I need to talk to you one last time…” His head bowed and he stared down at the blood from his fist mixing in with the water as it swirled towards the drain. “Please…” he whispered.

 

. . . 

 

“Tony! Get in here!”

 

Happy didn’t just yell like that for the heck of it. If he was yelling, then he really needed him in there fast for some reason or another. So, fully dressed or not, Tony hurried from the bedroom to the common room where Happy was sitting watching TV. Tony was about to yell at him for getting him in there so quickly, but then the news footage on the TV caught his attention and he forgot all about it.

 

There she was… Dressed in white. “Pepper,” he whispered as he sank down on the couch next to Happy. Pepper was standing there, she was dressed in the white dress he’d last seen her in. Her hair was down and flowing in the wind and then Tony noticed that Aldrich Killian was standing right next to her. He was speaking, but the news copters were obviously not close enough to hear exactly what he was saying.

 

“They’re saying that Pepper is with Killian, that they’re demanding that people everywhere surrender to them or else they’ll kill them all,” Happy explained.

 

“Pepper wouldn’t do that…” Tony said.

 

“I know.”

 

But they continued to watch and as they did, Killian started to kill people. Pepper did nothing, she just stood there and watched as if it were nothing. Tony wondered if she was hypnotized or in some kind of catatonic state. A woman ran to Pepper and hugged her legs and begged to her in some foreign language. Pepper looked down at the woman right before Killian killed the woman, blood splattering all over Pepper’s once pristine white dress. 

 

“He’s done something to her,” Tony insisted.

 

“Maybe she’s just not our Pepper,” Happy said slowly and sounded like he obviously didn’t believe it himself. 

 

Tony wanted to try to believe what Happy was saying, but he didn’t see how that could be. He could see her, she was his Pepper. Killian had to have done something, that was it. He needed to get her back. He needed to fix things. Tony needed help, though. He needed to reach out, he wasn’t worried about Pepper, but Killian. He’d thought the psychopath was dead. He was wrong. 

 

He suddenly wondered if Killian had reintroduced Extremis to Pepper’s system. He and Bruce had worked so tirelessly in order to ‘cure’ her of it. It just didn’t seem like it could be a good thing… Extremis wasn’t gentle with a system. It didn’t work in everyone and the people who couldn’t survive it, died a long and painfully excruciating death. He knew Pepper was strong, but Tony still had been surprised, happily so, that she’d come out of it okay the first time.

 

Maybe having Extremis reintroduced into her system had messed with her brain? Tony couldn’t be sure. He doubted that anyone really knew. Killian was the only one who really knew, and maybe even Maya Hansen. He’d ask for help, but he’d look for it too… He’d dig up Maya’s files and look through her research. There had to be something in there to help him if all else failed. He was going to get her back. 

 

Tony got up to his feet and marched back into the bedroom. He hated being emotional. Pepper had always encouraged him to talk about his feelings and to be truthful with him, but it was hard. He’d never had that past his parents’ death. His mother had always been the one, naturally, who fostered his emotions. After his anxiety attacks, though, he was afraid. It wasn’t of emotions in general, but of being overwhelmed by them. He didn’t want to go back to that messed up state that he’d been in before he’d had the arc reactor removed.

 

He wanted to throw things across the room, but everything he thought about reminded him of Pepper. He’d been very mindful of not moving anything of Pepper’s. Tony hadn’t let any cleaner in, he didn’t care about how much dust was accumulating or what needed to be washed or vacuumed. No one was touching that suite, not until Pepper was back. He didn’t want anything to be different when he brought her home. 

 

Of course before today, before he saw her on TV, he’d just left everything in place because he hadn’t been able to bring himself to move on from her death. He’d made smaller steps, but even washing her dirty clothes had been too hard. He was afraid that it would be like erasing her. That somehow he’d forget her. With it all there, it was almost like she was still there.

 

He still needed her there.

 

“JARVIS, put me through to SHIELD,” Tony said as he paced the bedroom. Thoughts bounced through his head as he waited. Was it possible that they knew that all this time Pepper was alive? Natasha, Clint, Steve, and Bruce had all been in attendance for Pepper’s funeral. He couldn’t imagine that one of them would keep something like this from him. They all knew how hard Pepper’s ‘death’ had hit him. It would just be cruel to keep it from him.

 

He waited and waited.

 

Tony hated to have to wait. He was Tony fucking Stark. No one made him wait...except Fury. Fury liked to make him wait. Tony had a feeling that he liked to humble him in a way. It wasn’t working, it was just making him more frustrated and he was going to work a hole into the carpet. 

 

“Mr. Stark, how can I help you?”

 

“I assume you’re watching what is all over the news,” Tony said, not wasting a moment. “Did you know?”

 

“We knew that Aldrich Killian was alive,” Fury responded. “But we did not know about Ms. Potts. No one has seen her since the world believed that she’d perished. He must have had her locked up this whole time.”

 

“There’s something not right with her.”

 

“I agree.”

 

“I need help.”

 

“I’m afraid that I cannot lend out SHIELD--”

 

“If you needed my help, you know I’d come running…” Tony said. 

 

“It’s not a matter of if I want to help you or not, Mr. Stark,” Fury clarified. “It’s a matter of being able to. My hands are tied right now. SHIELD is being diverted somewhere else.”

 

“What could be more important?!” 

 

“I’m afraid I can’t share that with you.”

 

“Then...the Avengers…” Tony blurted out in frustrated. 

 

“I’ll pass that on to Agents Romanoff and Barton when they return,” Fury told him. “You know that both Banner and Rogers are off on their own… And Thor, well...I don’t think we’ll be seeing him anytime soon.”

 

“How long have you known he’s been out there...alive?” Tony asked and was almost worried to hear the response. 

 

“I can’t discuss that--”

 

“You can’t just sit back and let Killian go on some kind of massacre! You can’t just let him use Pepper--”

 

“I’m afraid that’s what I’m doing. We’ll be in touch.”

 

And that was it.

 

Tony was floored in more than one way. 

 

Killian was alive and out there killing people…

 

And Pepper was alive.

 

. . . 

 

TBC…


	4. No Light, No Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently the replacement piece that my Mac needs has decided it never needs to come into the store for repairs in pristine condition. I've gotten two phone calls over two days declaring that they keep getting flawed/defective replacement piece for my Mac. So, they're ordering a third. Third time's a charm, right? I'm HOPING that I get an update by Tuesday and that maybe I can pick it up before the end of the week. 
> 
> I don't know if I've mentioned this, but NaNoWriMo is starting in November, so I'm really trying to get fics finished by then. I know that time's ticking away because I'll be working on my original story for NaNo this year, so if I don't get "Without" posted before the end of October, then it'll have to wait until December.

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes 

I never knew daylight could be so violent 

A revelation in the light of day 

You can't choose what stays and what fades away 

And I'll do anything to make you stay

~ "No Light, No Light" by Florence & the Machine

 

. . .

 

PRESENT

 

Natasha hated having weaknesses. She hated having any kind of connection that could be used against her. She didn’t like to think that Tony Stark or Pepper Potts were those kinds of things, but she did have a soft spot for a woman who had been manipulated and forced to kill. Her childhood had been lost and it had taken decades for her to come to the point where she could actually make informed choices for herself. Clint Barton had believed in her and instead of killing her, he’d become the first real family she’d had since she was a small girl.

 

“They’re going to kill me,” she whispered softly.

 

Pepper was sitting crosslegged in the cell that had been constructed for the Hulk. Fury just hoped that it held. Natasha mirrored Pepper just outside of the cell. Fury didn’t want to chance anyone being injured. The benefit of the cell was that it could be ejected from the helicarrier if needed. Natasha wouldn’t let it get to that point though. Pepper was still clothed in the blood soaked black dress and her skin was blood stained here and there. Natasha had wished that the medical and security staff would have let Pepper at least rinse off and change into scrubs. Fury had just wanted her checked quickly enough to make sure that there wasn’t anything life threatening medically. There wasn’t.

 

“I won’t let them,” Natasha responded quietly. Tony Stark was likely going to die at any minute and she wouldn’t go against his dying wishes. All he’d wanted was for Pepper to be safe and live. Natasha intended on following through with that. It was the least she could do for him.

 

“You should,” she whispered a moment later.

 

Natasha watched the other woman. It was then that she knew for sure that everything that had happened over the last year, whether Pepper was in control or not, she remembered everything. That was what was weighing on her. That’s why she didn’t think she deserved to live. But Natasha knew Pepper Potts. She was a good soul. She was a good person. It wasn’t her fault that Aldrich Killian had done whatever he’d done to her.

 

“You remember everything then?” Natasha questioned.

 

Pepper looked up at her. “Yes.” Her eyes were black and lifeless suddenly. She rose to her feet and began to slowly pace the circular prison. Her fingers lightly danced along the glass. A small curved her lips.

 

Natasha got to her feet the moment she realized that it wasn’t Pepper. She needed to make sure that they could solve this problem. They would most likely have to sedate Pepper. The only person that they could get to that was strong enough and smart enough to look at the area on her neck was Bruce and the Hulk. They didn’t exist all at once though, that was the problem. If the Hulk emerged, he couldn’t do what Bruce could. Just the same, Natasha would see if they’d had any luck locating him up on the command deck.

 

“Is there something I should call you?” Natasha asked as she watched her. She got to her feet and just continued to study her. The way she walked was even different from the way that Pepper did. This woman was confidant and there was something about her that Natasha just couldn’t place.

 

“Pepper,” she responded loudly and turned to look at her with a smile.

 

“But you’re not her,” Natasha pointed out.

 

“But I am…” she responded. “I’m just not the broken and weak part…”

 

“Pepper Potts is not weak...or broken,” Natasha argued. None of this was Pepper’s fault. None of it. Killian had done this to her and before this ‘other’ Pepper had emerged, she had been trying to find out how badly Killian had hurt Pepper in order to get to this point.

 

“You know what you can call me?” she offered as she stopped right in front of the glass where Natasha was standing. She looked her dead in the eyes. “You can bow to me and address me...well, Aldrich and I hadn’t quite figured out the correct way for people to address us… Your majesty just sounds so...overdone… Your grace has a certain ring to it,” she said as she went on. “Though, we are far closer to being Gods than royalty.”

 

“I’ve met Gods,” Natasha countered. They were demi Gods, but Natasha was fairly sure that it still counted.

 

“Right,” she said with a sharp nod. “Loki and Thor…” She tapped the side of her head. “This weakling at least has a good recollection of people, places, events, and all of that human kind of thing.”

 

“I just want to know what’s happened to her over the last year,” Natasha stated, trying to remain calm and collected. She really didn’t like this evil side of Pepper that had popped out to speak.

 

“Then ask,” she said darkly, tilting her head down a bit.

 

“What has Killian done to Pepper over the last year?” Natasha asked again.

 

“Do you really want to know?” she asked as a sinister smile slipped into place.

 

“Yes.”

 

And then her eyes brightened to blue again. Worry filled them and the smile disappeared. Tears fell from her eyes and her hands came up to the glass. Both palms pressed against it. “Please… She’ll kill more people… I’ll kill more people…”

 

. . .

 

FOUR MONTHS AGO…

 

Fury wasn’t happy.

 

Though Natasha sometimes wondered if there was really a time where Fury was ever really happy. Even though Natasha was technically an agent of SHIELD, it really had only been out of convenience and loyalty to Clint. He was her family and they were a good team after all. She could really take or leave SHIELD.

 

Tony Stark had asked Fury and SHIELD for help and they’d been too busy. Fury wouldn’t tell Stark what was going on, but they knew. SHIELD was trying to get ahead of Killian, but really that wasn’t working. Whenever they thought they took out a cell, another one popped up. It was like any other terrorist cell structure. They couldn’t hold the areas. The local governments that Killian was conquering couldn’t do anything because they were all dead. He’d been taking out the countries with the lowest human development. It was smart, but it was also dangerous. Even though places like the United States, United Kingdom, and Canada were larger and powerful...Killian would have built up the army he needed to take them all one by one. It was scary as hell.

 

When Pepper had shown up alongside Killian, Tony had tried to call in all his favors. Stark Industries was being pulled away from him, but Tony didn’t even seem to care. Natasha understood though, Pepper was his family. She was still surprised that they weren’t married or engaged yet. She had thought that after she’d seen them as ‘Natalie Rushman’ that it would have been the next thing on their lists. They deserved happiness. Someone did.

 

She and Clint had gone back and forth about the choice to help Tony. They’d hoped to get close to Pepper and grab her, but every time they went somewhere with SHIELD, Killian had already left with Pepper. They were elusive and Natasha was still a little surprised that the TV crews got coverage. She figured that it was probably just Killian’s vanity… He wanted to be seen. He wanted to be known and it was damn good press for terror.

 

But she and Clint had taken a jet from the helicarrier and located both Steve and Bruce before heading to help Tony. The Avengers were together again, all save Thor, Asgard was a bit too far to call. They’d suited up and showed up. That’s really all Tony had asked them to do.

 

For the first time in two months, Aldrich Killian and Pepper Potts were right in front of them. They weren’t alone though. There were members of Killian’s Extremis army, locals that were on the ground battling the Extremis virus as they stood there, and corpses. It was bloody and a massacre as every other place they’d been.

 

“This might be more of a challenge,” Natasha muttered.

 

“Don’t worry, I brought enough arrows,” Clint teased.

 

Natasha looked over at him. On basic principle alone, they didn’t show feelings, especially ones such as fear or worry, but Natasha knew that he felt the same as she did. There was no knowing if they were going to make it out of there alive. Killian and those with the Extremis were strong and made into super soldiers. They may have met their match.

 

“Stay together,” Steve said calmly. “Watch each other’s backs.”

 

She wasn’t sure how well that would work for the group as a whole, but she was sure that it would work with her, Clint, and Steve. They were the ones that were on the ground and didn’t require quite as much room to fight as Tony or the Hulk.

 

“I see that we warranted you bringing along company, Tony,” Killian spoke up as they held their ground. His tone was confident and cocky. Natasha didn’t like it.

 

“I’m surprised it took so long...to assemble this mismatched set.”

 

Natasha wondered if Killian was planning on just talking them to death. Right now, she was starting to think that it was a possibility. He certainly could talk and she suspected that he just liked to listen to himself. They’d already agreed on not throwing the first punch as hard as that was going to be and Tony had surprisingly agreed. So, for the time being, they had to stand there and listen.

 

“Hand over Ms. Potts,” Steve spoke up. He spoke as always with confidence and strength. Same old, Steve. Sometimes his old fashioned sense was comforting. Though Natasha was pretty sure that Killian wasn’t just going to hand her over…

 

“I’m not holding her against her will,” Killian said as he motioned to her with his hand. “If she wants to go with you, then she is free to do so…”

 

Or maybe she was wrong…

 

Immediately, Natasha looked towards where Steve and Tony stood. Tony’s faceplate immediately flipped up and he exchanged looks with everyone before looking forward. This was going to be the true test and she really wasn’t looking forward to it.

 

“It’s okay, Pepper,” Tony called out and held out his arm towards her. “We’re here to take you home…”

 

They held their breath as they waited. Pepper took a step forward and Natasha thought for a moment that maybe they’d completed their mission. But it only lasted a moment. Suddenly, Pepper was grabbed a young child that had been obviously injected with the Extremis virus, she was suffering immensely, her little legs were kicking about as Pepper held her by the neck. They all started to move forward, but the child’s neck was snapped seconds later. The body fell to the ground in a lifeless heap.

 

Natasha looked up as Pepper looked them all in the eyes. The normal bright blue eyes weren’t there. They were dark and empty. The Hulk let out a fierce roar, but he stayed in place behind the rest of them. Natasha turned her back to Pepper and Killian and moved to face both Steve and Tony. She put her hand out onto Tony’s chestplate. “This isn’t Pepper…”

 

Tears were falling from his eyes. She didn’t know why she was surprised. Tony wasn’t like her. Even if he was a different man than whom she’d first met, he had emotions. Pepper was the one person that seemed to ever bring out the side that no one saw in him. Not everyone had been raised in the world she had, dark and unemotional. Forced to kill and forced to be used in ways that she never could be proud of. Those were her dark days and she knew after looking into Pepper’s black eyes that her dark days were coming…

 

“Of course it’s Pepper,” Tony spat.

 

“Inside… That’s not Pepper,” Natasha spoke again. “She would have never even thought about hurting...let alone a child who was already suffering…”

 

“She’s right,” Steve spoke up.

 

“Killian’s likely done something to her.”

 

“I’m not leaving her with him,” Tony argued quietly.

 

“Right now, it’s the safest place,” she whispered and hated to say that. But it was true. Killian obviously wasn’t going to hurt her. He’d killed all those people eight months ago, but he’d ensured that she was safe and hidden away for six months. Killian had obviously brainwashed her and they’d seen signs of Extremis having been reintroduced into her system, she was obedient to him, so there was no reason for him to hurt her.

 

“As much as you hate him, do you really believe that he’s going to kill her?” Natasha asked. She needed Tony to see reason. “She’s obviously under his spell… Why would he kill someone who does what he wants? He has no reason to…”

 

“She’s right,” Steve agreed.

 

“Guy,” Clint spoke up.

 

The Hulk let out a roar behind them and they all knew that something was going on.

 

Natasha turned around to see that Killian and Pepper had new victims. Clint was already ready with his bow and she pulled out her gun. This wasn’t going to end well, Natasha knew that. They were going to be pushed into technically pulling the first punch. They couldn’t let more innocents sacrificed in front of them. Clint’s arrow was the first to fly through the air, but she was firing a moment later. She’d noticed that Tony was off flying as she saw Captain’s shield flying through the air. The blur of green running past her signaled her that the Hulk was into the game now as well. It wasn’t what they agreed, but these innocents were children. They would be horrible if they just watched as they killed children and didn’t do anything.

 

Natasha had enough regrets in her life and enough blood on her hands. She wouldn’t add these children to that. And if they just stood there, it would be on them. They had a chance to save them or at least do the best they could and they had to take it. They’d been patient enough. The kids were released, but they didn’t run away. They were too weak and Natasha just wasn’t sure how they were going to get them out.

 

Though Fury had made it clear that he wouldn’t help, Natasha was still going to contact him and just hope that he’d step in when it came to evacuation or send someone else who could assist. She touched the communication bud in her ear. “Director Fury, we could really use assistance with evacuating the children down here…”

 

“We already have people on the ground,” Fury responded right away. “A vehicle should be coming your way in order to assist with their removal.”

 

That was all she needed to hear. She got fully into the fight and just hoped that they could keep the innocents away from Killian, Pepper, and the Extremis soldiers long enough. As she figured, she and Clint and Steve ended up in a triangle formation, watching each others’ backs. “Fury’s sending help for the kids,” she told them in between shots and punches. The Extremis soldiers just kept coming and hitting hard. She readied her widow’s bite and prepared to use it on the next bad guy she came into contact with. It probably wouldn’t do much, but at least it was something.

 

“We really need a better weapon for these things,” Clint said.

 

“No kidding,” she mumbled, but they continued to hold their ground, just barely.

 

Three trucks rolled in and armed SHIELD agents got out and immediately started to load whoever was closest to them into the trucks. Natasha didn’t even think they were checking to see if they were alive or dead. She supposed that getting them out of there was really the priority. She was thankful that even though Fury hadn’t agreed to back them up that he was willing to do this for the victims.

 

They slowly advanced forward as bodies were cleaned and hauled up into the back of the oversized trucks. Suddenly, they had to stop their advancing, Natasha had just started to think like maybe they were going to get somewhere. Steve went flying backwards, his shield out in front of him but seemingly ablaze. It wasn’t just Captain America who was having problems, the Hulk wasn’t fairing well either. They were being overpowered by the Extremis soldiers and she’d noticed that Stark had been keeping clear of them as much as possible. If he wasn’t flying into them, then everything he was doing was at range. He’d kept out of melee attacking and Natasha wondered if it was what she’d heard, that the suits couldn’t handle the Extremis heat, was really true… Maybe Stark had run into something that he couldn’t manage to perfect. It meant that Stark getting close to anyone with Extremis wasn’t an advantage they had.

 

“Get back!” Clint yelled.

 

It didn’t take long until Natasha saw why. A wall of fire was quickly forming between them and Killian. Either Killian was showing his power had grown or he was making a point of ending the fighting. They had come there for Pepper and Natasha was fairly sure that they weren’t going to complete their mission.

 

“You could have anyone!” Tony yelled. Natasha noticed that he’d moved back with Steve and that he was up and moving. “Why her?”

 

“Because I wanted her...and for probably the first time in your life, she’s something you can’t have!” Killian yelled back.

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	5. Seven Devils

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter ended up being a lot longer than I'd originally planned, but I wanted to make sure that we got everything that I thought that needed to be seen in regards to Pepper. :D Hopefully it comes across as emotional as I wanted it to!

Seven devils all around you   
Seven devils in your house   
See I was dead when I woke up this morning,    
And I'll be dead before the day is done   
Before the day is done  
~ “Seven Devils” by Florence & the Machine

. . .

 

PRESENT

 

People came and they went. They all wanted something from her. Some came closer than others. Few actually entered the ‘cell’, but those who did, she feared for their safety. There wasn’t a switch or any warning when she would change. She’d look the same and her voice would sound the same, but it wouldn’t be her. 

Her back was pressed against the glass of the cell at the opposite end as the door opened. She kept her head down and tried to contain her tears. She’d cried so much since she’d been there. It didn’t seem to help anything or really be of any use. She couldn’t help it, though, all of the things that had been done with her hands...all of the blood on them...all of the deaths perpetrated at her hands. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I’m not afraid of you,” Pepper whispered and looked up at him. Bruce Banner. Natasha had told her that he was coming to try to help her. “I’m afraid of what I might do to you….” There had been talk long before about the Hulk and how he was dangerous and needed to be contained...and now look where they were...who they feared.

“I think I’ll be okay,” he said with confidence.

She still couldn’t be sure. She remembered that the Avengers had tried to save her before. It was fuzzy, but she remembered that they had left injured. Pepper felt guilty, but it didn’t compare to the rest of the guilt that she felt for all of those who had lost their lives. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes,” Bruce said. “Tony wanted to know… I promised him I’d see you today and let him know when I visited him later.”

Tears welled up in her eyes. Probably her biggest regret… She hadn’t felt like she had any other choice, but to fire on Tony at that time… Killian wouldn’t have dropped his guard completely until he didn’t feel like there was a threat anymore. “How is he?” she asked. She had no idea how much time had passed since they’d first arrived and she’d seen him. 

“He’s stable right now,” Bruce told her as the door slid closed behind him. He approached her slowly with his kit. “That’s really all the doctors can ask for.”

“He’s going to die, isn’t he?” she asked as her voice broke and sobs overtook her. All she could think was that it was her fault. It was all her fault. She had hoped that his armor would protect him more. She hadn’t known how much damage it had already sustained before she’d hit him before Killian. Her head bowed again and she crumpled to the floor. 

“Probably...yes…” Bruce said, sounding quite unsure. “Maybe… I don’t know… He’s strong and he’s stronger knowing that you’re safe and alive. That’s all he’s wanted this last year… It might be enough for him to hang on to…”

Pepper looked up, Bruce was now crouched down in front of her. “Things will never be the same…”

“No, they won’t,” he whispered. 

“They want to kill me, I know they do… They should want to,” Pepper rambled on. “I want them to… I deserve it...and it’s all too hard.”

“That wasn’t you,” Bruce said calmly. “You’re making yourself out to be some monster… That wasn’t you…”

“I couldn’t stop it.”

“I am a monster...a demon…” she whispered. “I killed all those people… Even if it wasn’t ‘me’, I remember it all… It was my face, my voice, and my hands…” Pepper told him as she held out her hands and looked down at them. She could only see them blood stained. 

“Let’s just focus on two things,” Bruce told her. “Removing this device...which will hopefully give you full control to be yourself…and Tony getting better…”

The cell was silent for a moment.

“Pepper?” 

Her head lifted and there was a smile in place. “I’ve been told that I need to supply your friends with a better name for myself,” she said sweetly. Her hands immediately gripped his shirt. She was on her feet and had switched places with Banner, so that she now had him against the glass. She stared into his eyes and thought about killing him right then and there. She felt like she had a chance since he hadn’t changed into the green monster. “You know...you’re kind of cute in this state…”

“What do you want? What do you really want?” Bruce asked.

She thought about it for a moment, but then it dawned on her...a name that they could use to separate her from the weak mortal that they were used to seeing her as. “Athena.”

“Excuse me?”

“You may call me Athena.”

“That’s hardly appropriate.”

“She’s the goddess of warfare…”

“Just warfare… This isn’t just…”

“I think that’s up to interpretation,” Athena told him with a shrug as she continued to hold him tight against the glass. She was still tempted to try to kill him. She was sure that she could. He was extremely weak and pliable in this state. She was sure that her manipulation would work on him.

“I want to talk to Pepper.”

“Are you going to try to ask her what Killian did to her?” Athena asked, pretending to act sad. “Poor Pepper Potts… No one knows what the bad man did to her…”

“Among other things,” Bruce responded. 

“You want to banish me from my vessel,” she stated angrily. “I’m an improvement on her, can’t you see that? She doesn’t even want to live, so why not honor her wishes? I can silence her--”

“She’s stronger--”

“Oh please,” Athena waved off as she let Bruce down. “She’s an ant just waiting for me to smash.” She moved away from him, turning her back to Banner. Athena was unafraid of him or his alter ego. Neither Banner nor the Hulk could harm her. They should be frightened of her and she found it a bit amusing that they thought they could contain her. She was certain that she could escape from the glass prison before they could even open the doors below to drop the container. 

“You say she’s weak,” Bruce said from behind her. “Tell me why…”

Athena smirked and then turned to look at him. He was still where she’d left him, but he looked a little more worried than before. He was smart and good looking. She wondered how Extremis would affect him and the beast within him… Perhaps he really would be the ultimate man then. Far more of one than Killian had been. She just hoped he was dead, she really didn’t need to pretend to appreciate his feats of mass murder. Anyone could wide out a planet.

“She broke.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Athena laughed. “She can’t even hold me back… What makes you think that she endured everything Killian put her through and came out whole?” She approached Bruce again. Her hips swayed as she closed the distance between them. “I’m here, remember?

“Tell me.”

“It won’t change anything,” she assured.

Bruce shrugged. “Tell me anyway.”

“Curious..and curiouser…”

 

. . .

 

A YEAR BEFORE...

 

Killian had kept her there for only he knew how long. It felt like a lifetime. The room was small, cramped, and bare basics...a lot like a cell. There was no window and if there was a light, he’d kept it off the whole time. When she’d first been thrown in, she’d been able to see that there was a mattress on the floor, a sink, and a toilet from the light from the hallway before he’d closed the door. She’d felt the room out and found that the door was the only way in or out. He kept the light in the hallway off or the light just didn’t shine along the edges of the door.

Pepper had thought that he’d come back for her, but he hadn’t. Not for days. She’d had no food and only the water from the sink as hydration. The thought that he’d thrown her into there to die had crossed her mind. She’d done everything in her power to explain to him that she’d never love him, which included some very unladylike screaming, hitting, and anything else she’d been able to think of at the time. Killian had been unphased by it all and had actually seemed to find it amusing. 

At first, she’d just lay there in the dark. It was almost a comfort that he didn’t disturb her, but he’d left her alone for what seemed like a week without any food. She’d drank from the sink and she felt weak and weary. She wanted Tony to whisk in and save her. This was a time that she was more than okay being a damsel in distress. She didn’t have Extremis in her body anymore to protect her and Killian was far too strong for her. She needed help to get out of there.

Killian finally came and brought in something that smelled greasy, but Pepper didn’t care. She was starving. He just stood in the doorway and she squinted at his silhouette. It had been, she didn’t know how long, since her eyes had taken in light. “Hungry?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“I brought you something,” he said and held out the paper bag. She could hear it crinkle more than she could actually see it. “Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and coleslaw…” He paused for a moment. “Do you want it?”

“Yes.”

“Beg for it.”

Pepper thought about what he was saying for a moment. She knew that this had to be part of his controlling of her, but she was starving. She knew that she’d been in there for more than two days… She needed it. She needed it more than her pride. So, she begged for it. After about five minutes, he finally handed over the bag before closing the door and leaving her in the dark again to eat. 

 

. . .

 

Pepper didn’t know what to think as far as how to feel about how much time had passed. She was certain that she was warping it, but it still felt like she’d been in there for forever. Killian had kept feeding her, though after the chicken he’d bring her apples, crackers, granola bars, peanut butter, and bread. The food would last her what she suspected was a week. 

One day, the water just stopped. Pepper had thought that maybe it was just a temporary thing, something was broken or there was some other problem. But the water never came back on. So, she saved the few apples she had and savoured their juices, not wanting to waste a drop. It wasn’t just the lack of water in her cell that was getting to her. It was also the fact that her toilet wasn’t flushing and there wasn’t even a lid to set down. 

Killian still didn’t come. Pepper was sure that it had been two days. Maybe he really was going to leave her to die or perhaps this was just his sick twisted torture. In the middle of that night though, air forced itself through what she had to figure were vents towards the ceiling of the cell. Freezing cold air quickly changed the previously quite comfortable cell temperature. She sat on the mattress and wrapped her arms around herself. She was probably slightly warmer than she would have been if Killian hadn’t made her hand him her dress and change into the t-shirt and yoga pants. She would have loved a pair of socks and a jacket right about now though.

No matter how she’d tried to wrap herself in her arms or adjusted her position, she was freezing. The air didn’t stop and Pepper started to sob. Her toes hurt when she moved them and she just wanted to be warm. She realized just then that it had been...she didn’t know how long...since she’d been touched by someone else. No one had touched her since Killian had left her in that cell. If Tony was there, she knew that he’d wrap his arms around her and hold her close to try to warm her up. So, she closed her eyes and as she tightened her arms around herself, she tried to keep that thought in her head as shivers ran through her.

That morning, or at least she assumed it was morning, Killian came. He didn’t come with a paper bag full of chicken, but rather just stood at the door for a while. The arctic air was still flowing into the room and the open door didn’t seem to be funneling enough of it out or bringing any kind of heat in. She laid there, not sure why he was there. The light was bright, but there was some comfort in it. Was he trying to see if she was still alive? Was he taking further pleasure in her discomfort? Or was there something else?

After a few silent moments, he simply opened his arms wide. “Come here, Pepper…” he whispered. “I’m growing to like that nickname Tony gave you… It does suit you…” He was quiet for a moment before he motioned with his fingers for her to come to him. “Come on…”

This was some kind of game, she thought. 

And she was losing.

New sobs pushed past her lips and with frozen limbs, she managed to get herself to her feet and staggered over to him. Pepper threw her arms around him and squeezed her eyes shut. His arms closed around her and her body immediately felt warmer. It was like he was melting the ice that her body had become. “Why?” she whispered after a few minutes and looked up at him.

“You need to learn.”

“Learn what?”

“To obey.”

This really was all a test and she really was going to lose it. Pepper just hoped that in the end that either Killian killed her or Tony came for her. She just couldn’t go on with this kind of painful existence for much longer. She felt so weak… 

His fingers were in her hair and he kissed her forehead. Pepper hated that she actually was taking comfort in his hold on her...from his touch...and affection… She wanted to throw up and yell at herself, but what else could she do? She had to survive...for now...

 

. . .

 

It had all become a nightmare. He’d turned off the air conditioning only to turn on the heat...but it stayed on long after it reheated the cell. The water came back on, but so did the lights she didn’t think existed in there. She’d drank from the sink and then had moved to the mattress and curled up, trying to cover her face. The lights were too much for her. 

The heat became too much for her.

She slowly stripped out of the t-shirt and yoga pants as they started to become drenched with her sweat. Pepper would go over to the sink and splash herself with water, but it didn’t seem like anything helped. It was never enough. The heat just felt like it was a warm cloud that kept circling around her, trying to fully envelop her.

At one point, Pepper finally felt like she could sleep...she was nearly there when the screams echoed through the cell. She sat up straight and looked around. No one had entered and there was no one there, but the screams were loud and they kept bouncing around the cell. Sometimes they would quiet and she’d start to feel the fatigue hit her enough so that she could just pass out and then the screams would start up anew. 

 

. . .

 

The door opened, but it wasn’t the light that she noticed first, but rather the creak it made. It was distinctively different than the array of sounds she’d been bombarded with. Pepper just lay there on the concrete floor, which had stopped being cool. She swore that she’d sweated so much that she couldn’t sweat anymore. He was gentle when he touched her. First, he checked her pulse and then moved her sweat matted hair away from her face. Then he scooped her up and took her out of the cell. Pepper just didn’t have the strength to move and instead, she watched the lights above her as they passed through the building Killian had been holding her in. 

They entered a room with dim lighting that was cool and brought a bit of life into her once he’d laid her down. There was a proper bed with fresh white bedding, not just a mattress on the floor. There was a window with curtains. He sat her up and allowed her to slowly sip cool water from a glass before he set it back on the bedside. 

“You rest,” Killian told her. “I’ll be back to check on you.” 

She didn’t know how long she was there, but she was finally able to sleep. She slept on top of the sheets, still clad only in her bra and panties, but she felt like the heat that she’d been in before had somehow fused into her skin. 

Instead of waking on her own, she woke because someone was toying with her neck. She’d felt pain, but had thought it was just her dream… She started to try to move away, but his arm held her firmly in place. “Just a minute,” Killian said. His voice calm and even. “I need to make sure that this is installed correctly.”

“Wha--” she started, but then realized that her throat was too dry. “Wat--ter…” she pushed out.

“Just a moment more,” Killian told her. 

There was a shock and she cringe and let out a yelp. What was he doing to her? This wasn’t like Tony. Tony did eccentric things like inject himself with his own tech in order to control his suits better, but this was different. She trusted Tony, she didn’t trust Killian. She didn’t trust him to do this. Whatever he was doing, she knew that it was just apart of the nightmare that he’d been instrumental in creating. She didn’t understand any of it. What was his grand plan? To torture her? To slowly kill her? 

“There,” he said as he wiped around whatever he’d installed on her neck. “That’ll help you…” Before she could try to ask him any questions, he rolled her over and helped her up into a sitting position. He was there holding the glass of water a moment later and holding it up to her lips. “Slow,” he instructed and slowly tipped it. 

She drank slowly and gratefully. Pepper felt weak and though she’d slept, she didn’t feel like she’d slept anywhere close to long enough. When he finally pulled the glass away from her lips, she looked up at him. “What did you do to me?”

“I just installed something that’s going to help you cope with your new situation a little better.”

“What is it?”

“Let’s face it, Pepper… I tried to give you everything… You obviously didn’t appreciate it, so I need to take a few extra steps this time around to ensure that you obey me.”

“I don’t want any of what you want to give me, Killian.”

“I’ve told you before to call me Aldrich,” he said sweetly and flashed a smile. 

Pepper stared at him, long and hard. “I want to go home.”

“Haven’t you seen the news?” he teased. “Pepper Potts is dead. Tony Stark isolated while mourning the death of his one true love,” he said and moved his hands out in front of him like he was framing a headline. “Tragic…”

“No--”

“I took that whole building down,” Killian told her proudly. “Not all of the bodies were found. There’s already been a funeral…”

“Tony wouldn’t--”

“What other evidence does he have to think you’re alive? Didn’t you two fight right before?” 

Pepper just stared at him. 

“He’s not looking for you,” Killian said. “You’re mine...and I’m going to keep you locked up until you learn your place.”

“Where exactly do you think that is?” she asked angrily.

“At my side, of course,” he said matter of factly. 

“I don’t love you.”

“You’ll learn to.”

“No.”

“Yes, I guarantee it…” he said and then snapped his fingers.

Immense pain coursed through her. She doubled over and felt like she was being set on fire, like she was going through the change of the Extremis virus all over again. She screamed out, but then when he snapped again, it stopped. Pepper panted and then looked up at him. “What did you do to me?”

“Maybe it would be smarter to call this insurance…”

“I’m not going to--”

“Oh, you’ll do exactly what I say…”

“I won’t.”

“I’m going to beat that stubbornness right out of you, Pepper,” he told her smugly. “But not with a stick...or a bat… I’m going to use a knife...and your own hand.”

She just stared at him before he disappeared.

 

. . .

 

He’d left her alone to recuperate or so she’d assumed. She had a bathroom attached with full shower. She had a window that partially opened. There was a dresser with a mirror that was filled with new clean clothes, though she felt like they were an interesting collection. Food and chilled bottled water had been left in her room. She’d had what she had to assume was a late breakfast by what the sky looked like. She savoured it. Pepper had consumed at least half a bottle of water before heading for the bathroom to shower. She didn’t know how many days since she’d done that. It would be nice to feel a little human. 

She took her time and scrubbed and washed her hair. Her skin felt like all of the pores were clogged with dirt and sweat. She’d felt absolutely disgusting stepping in, but felt closer to alive when she got out. Pepper had dropped her filthy bra and panties in the trash. She knew that she’d seen replacement ones in the drawers and hopefully they fit correctly. So, she wrapped a towel around herself and headed to the dresser to change. 

At the dresser, she started to go through the drawers and pulling out her selections, leaving them on the dresser top as she went on to the next drawer. Movement in the mirror from the corner of her eye caught her attention. She froze and looked up at the mirror. In the reflection she could see a little girl dressed in white, she had freckles and a scared face. 

“I want to go home,” the little girl whined.

Pepper dropped what was in her hands and turned around. She took in the little girl. She looked about five or six. She was a beautiful little girl with bright blue eyes and curled red hair that fell to her shoulders. She wondered if she was part of Killian’s plan...if somehow this child was supposed to affect her in someway. Everything had been a test and she’d just let down her guard...and then the child was here.

“Where’s home?” she asked. 

She moved towards the child to comfort her and then stopped herself. She wondered if Extremis could really be introduced to a child. As far as she knew, it had only been done to adults. Pepper knew from experience that it was a painful process and couldn’t imagine a child enduring it. But she still worried and found herself overly cautious. 

“Los Angeles,” the girl said. “I was walking home from school--”

“Did you see anything?”

The girl shook her head and tears fell. “They grabbed me and put something over my head… I promised my daddy that I would be safe walking home… I didn’t talk to any strangers. I followed the right path.”

Pepper couldn’t stand to see the little girl breaking down and pulled the girl into her arms. “Shh… It’s going to be okay,” she whispered. “My name is Pepper,” she whispered as she stroked the girl’s hair. She could hear her breathing calming down even though she kept sniffling. 

“My name is Amelia,” the little girl said finally. 

Pepper pulled back from the girl and then led her to the bathroom. “Let’s blow your nose and wash your face,” she said as she took the girl’s hand. “I’ll change and then we’ll talk...okay?”

“Are we going to go home?”

“Yes,” Pepper replied without missing a beat. 

Ten minutes later, Pepper had dressed and was sitting on the bed with the little girl. The girl was still upset and hadn’t wanted to be far from her. Pepper wasn’t sure how they were going to get out and go home, but she knew that they would be. She’d find a way. There was always a way. Amelia had told her her whole little life story. How her mother had died when she was two in a car accident and how it was just her and her dad, who worked all the time. How she loved her teacher and how she hated math. Who her best friends were and what games they played at recess. 

It had to be late afternoon by the time Killian entered the room. He was dressed sharply and seemed happy with himself. Though, she swore he always seemed pleased. “Oh good, you two have had the time to talk.”

“She’s just a little girl, Killian,” Pepper told him as she positioned herself between Amelia and Killian. She was going to protect that girl with her life, if she had to.

“I know,” Killian said. “I needed a little girl… And she resembles you,” he continued as he motioned past Pepper. “It wasn’t like I took her from some mansion...she practically lives on the streets with a non-existent parent. I’ve probably saved her from the eventual life of prostitution.”

Pepper just stared at him. They were both quiet for a long time. “Take her home, please…” she said and tried to be soft with her request.

“No.”

“Killian--”

“I’ve asked you to call me Aldrich,” he reminded.

Pepper glared at him. “Everything you’ve put me through--”

“Tests...yes… What about them?”

“Is she supposed to be a test?” Pepper asked. She hadn’t been able to exactly figure out how a little girl was a test. 

“You’re going to kill her,” he told her bluntly.

“What? No!” 

“You are,” he said with a smile. 

Pepper shook her head. “I’m not going to harm her…”

“I know, violence isn’t really something that’s in your nature...but I saw it,” Killian told her. “At Christmas…”

“I couldn’t let you kill Tony,” Pepper told him. “That was defense…”

Killian rolled his eyes in response. “I don’t understand how Tony Stark has somehow brainwashed you into loving him…”

“You know Iron Man?” Amelia asked from behind.

“Iron Man isn’t coming for either of you,” Killian said. 

Pepper looked back at Amelia all huddled in the corner and then back to Killian. “Please, don’t do this…”

“You need this… It’ll be enough to get you where I need you… You’ll be perfect,” he said with a smile as he reached out to run his hand from her shoulder and down her arm.

She hated that his touch was a comfort and pulled away after a moment. “I don’t want to be perfect then…”

“Of course you do!”

“No.”

“Pepper…” Killian said and pulled a gun out and held it out, pointing it at Amelia. “Don’t make me shoot her.” When she moved her body in the way of his aim, it took him seconds to physically move her and have her pressed against his body as he held her tightly in place. 

Pepper stared at Amelia as tears fell from her face. She was no match for Killian with the Extremis virus in his system. She knew that, but she still had to try to protect the girl. “Please…” she pleaded. 

There was quiet for a long few minutes. “No,” he said and she found him slipping a knife into her hand. “You’re going to kill her...slit her throat,” he whispered into her ear.

“No.”

Killian held a knife at her throat. “Come on, Amelia… You don’t want me to cut her throat, do you?” he asked as he pressed it tighter to her flesh.

Amelia was sobbing and slowly moved from the corner until she was right in front of them. “Please...I just want to go home,” she cried.

“I won’t do it, Killian,” Pepper whispered as tears fell down her face. He moved the blade away from her throat and before she could realize the move, the blade was pressing against one of her fingers. “Killian--”

“Aldrich,” he corrected as he pressed down just enough to draw blood.

Pepper bit her lip for a moment. “Aldrich…”

“You slit her throat or I’m going to start detaching things,” he warned.

“Aldrich, please…”

“You don’t have to worry, though,” he said calmly in her ear. “It’ll all regenerate once Extremis hits your system again…”

She closed her eyes and realized that he was right. He could do horrible things to her and once Extremis was reintroduced to her body, it would repair everything. If he severed fingers...there’d be pristine ones. “Please…don’t do this,” she pleaded as her voice broke into a sob. Her hand shook and for a moment she wondered if there was any way to kill him with it before he could react, but she knew that it was useless. “I won’t do it,” she whispered a moment later. 

Her screams echoed through the room over and over again and Amelia yelled for him to stop each time. Killian didn’t. Pepper said no, and he severed a finger. It wasn’t just the finger that she lost, but he’d also gotten the device to work every time. Pepper didn’t know how the device worked, but her body felt like it was becoming numb to the pain. To all of the pain. Pepper had started to feel like she was in a haze. She wasn’t sure if it was from blood loss or from the fatigue hitting her from the upset of it all. 

Somehow, she felt like she’d been pushed to the back of her mind. She wasn’t the one speaking or the one moving her hands. “She has to die,” she found escaping her own lips plainly. Her hands reached out and a moment later, Amelia’s throat was slit. She fell to the floor in a heap and she just stared down at her for a long time. 

“Good girl,” Killian praised as he took the knife from her. “I’ll be back to take you for Extremis.” He kissed her cheek and then left her alone in the room. 

She continued to stare out through her eyes, but unable to move herself. Finally, she was herself again. Pepper didn’t worry about severed fingers, but dropped to the floor as a fresh wave of tears and sobs pushed forward. She pulled Amelia’s bloody and lifeless body to her and held her. Pepper rocked back and forth. She hadn’t meant to do it...she didn’t do it...something else...something had done it in her place… She screamed and yelled, but none of it helped. Everything had still happened. There was no time machine. This wasn’t a waking nightmare, this was the grim reality that she was living in. 

Amelia was dead.

She’d killed her. Somehow.

Killian had won.

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	6. Blinding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first scene is a dream sequence...just in case you miss that... So, don't be confused ;)

Seems that I have been held, in some dreaming state   
A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake   
No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber   
Until I realised that it was you who held me under  
~ “Blinding” by Florence & the Machine

 

. . .

 

PRESENT

 

She knew it was a dream.

She didn’t care.

Pepper was far happier in that imaginary world in her head. She didn’t want to be awake. She wasn’t sure if there was a God or a heaven and hell… If there was, she was certain she was going to the latter. Even if it wasn’t her own mind, it had been her hands. All of those children...women...men… They’d massacred so many… 

“Pep!”

His voice dragged her from dwelling on the reality that lay waiting for her when she was truly awake. She immediately allowed for the distraction and turned to his smiling face. They were outside in a grassy area. He was in a button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and she thought that they were having a picnic, but couldn’t be sure. Pepper leaned back and looked upwards for a moment, there was no blue sky...it was just a blinding light. It didn’t matter. His lips on hers was all she cared about in that moment and then his hands tangling in her hair.

“I love you,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you,” she whispered in return. 

It was a perfect moment.

Something to cherish and hold onto. 

Suddenly, they were flying through the air. They were both suited up in their own respective suits. She’d teased Tony about making her own suit after she’d worn it when the house in Malibu had gone into the ocean, Tony had put it on her in order to save her...and in turn she’d saved him. 

Here they were, she didn’t know where, all that mattered was that she was with Tony. All that mattered was that he was alive and safe. Pepper kept close to him, not wanting to be far apart, but it was thrilling...shooting through the air like they were. Tony’s music was playing and though it wasn’t her favorite to listen to, she let it play because he loved it. 

“We should do this more often,” he told her.

Pepper grinned. She’d do this anytime with him. All he had to do was ask. “Agreed,” she responded. She looked down, but there was nothing below that she could see. It was like there was no land below. There were no clouds, it was just a blinding brightness...Tony and Pepper flying through the sky...it was odd, but she pushed the thought to the back of her mind. She didn’t care. She just wanted this to go on forever.

It was like the world moved suddenly, switching her location and pulling the armor away from her at the same time. Suddenly it had shifted so that she was back in a memory. It wasn’t that long ago. It was a happy memory. She remembered having thought that maybe that was the happiest she’d been in her whole life. The moment that the doctor came out and told her that Tony’s surgery had been a success and that she could finally go in and see him. Pepper remembered that she’d hugged Rhodey, but when she turned. He wasn’t there. When she turned back to the doctor, he was gone too. It didn’t matter, all that mattered was finding Tony. 

And she found him.

He was in a blinding white room, it didn’t even feel like a room. There was just a bed and Tony...and everything was just white… It didn’t matter. She moved to his side and caressed his cheek. Tears of joy were falling from her eyes as she looked him over. The doctor had said that it had been successful and that he was fine. That was all that mattered. He would live. 

“I love you,” she whispered before kissing his lips. 

He kissed back and she laughed briefly against his lips before he initiated a kiss of his own. “I love you,” he told her quietly.

She pulled back to look at him. It was odd not having the arc reactor in his chest with its gentle blue glow. It had been a comfort at times, but she knew that he didn’t need it anymore. He was stronger without it. “I’m proud of you,” she told him. And she was. It took a great amount of courage to give up the arc reactor...to know that he could still be the man that he was...and Iron Man on top of it all...without the arc reactor. No matter what, he was always Tony Stark, the man she loved...and he was always Iron Man. No one could take that away from him. Not having an arc reactor in his chest anymore would change that. 

“Pep,” Tony said quietly as he took her hands. “I need to say something--”

“No,” she whispered and kissed his forehead. “Shh… Nothing else matters. You’re safe…”

“Pep, I love you,” he told her with great conviction. “You’re everything that matters in my life--”

He was alive. 

He would live.

Sobs took over and Pepper couldn’t control herself. This moment was such a happy one, but the tears...and the sobs...they weren’t out of happiness. This dreamscape...it had been a way to escape from the harsh and ugly reality. 

He wouldn’t live.

He was going to die.

He would die because of her.

She didn’t want to live without him.

She didn’t deserve to. 

“Pepper,” the voice echoed through her head, but she didn’t care to listen to it. It wasn’t Tony. She didn’t care to listen to anyone else. She wanted to stay inside of her head, she wanted to be in her happy place...it seemed like the only thing she could control anymore. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. She gasped and struggled to breathe. “Pepper!” the voice shouted more urgently. “Pepper! Wake up! WAKE! UP!”

She wanted to die.

Pepper just wanted them to do the right thing. 

Let her die.

Let it be done.

 

. . .

 

NINE MONTHS BEFORE…

 

She tried to struggle against his control. Pepper didn’t know how to keep control. She didn’t know what was happening. Was the thing that Killian put on her neck controlling her? Was it something else? Was it the Extremis? Had it been changed? That didn’t make sense, though, because she hadn’t had the Extremis in her system when her hands had ended Amelia’s life.

Pepper couldn’t get out the image of Amelia in her arms, dead…or the blood on her hands. Whenever she was like this, Killian would refer to it as her ‘weakened state’, he’d lock her in the room until the control was taken away from her. 

She sat in the chair in her room near the window, but she didn’t look out. It was dark and the fog was rolling in, she already knew that. Pepper couldn’t bring her eyes from her hands. All of her digits were there again. She remembered the pain vividly though and sometimes she felt like she forgot how to work them. No matter if they were there or not, her hands were covered in Amelia’s blood even though she knew that they’d been washed. She would always see that blood. 

“She was just a little girl,” she whispered.

Pepper kept telling herself that if she got out of there, she’d make sure that her father knew what had happened...and somehow...she had hoped to make it right, even though she knew she couldn’t ever do that. The only way to really do that was to bring Amelia back. She couldn’t do that. 

“I didn’t do it,” she tried to convince herself.

Tears were falling down her face. Her voice broke into a sob. This was how it always was. She always dwelled on what she couldn’t forget or forgive...and she always ended up hysterical. Pepper knew that it was likely that becoming a hysterical mess was going to lead to her control being taken away, but she couldn’t help it. Even if she’d stopped really feeling tactilly, she still had emotions...much to Killian’s disdain. It was what made her human and it was what made her ‘her’ and she wasn’t going to give that up.

“Tony,” she whispered as she covered her face with her hands. “I need you…”

 

. . .

 

“It’s been too long,” Killian said with a smile.

She knew that he was pleased, with her and himself. He was always pleased with himself. He was a smug bastard, but she’d use him for as long and as far as she could get away with it. “You have no idea how frustrating it is to be bottled up when she’s just whining about killing… It’s pathetic,” she said.

“I’m working on ensuring your control as more permanent,” he assured. 

“I hope it won’t be long.”

“I have people working on it,” he told her as he reached out to stroke her face.

She really didn’t care either way if he touched her. She was numb to it. It was like her body had suppressed anything that was more than pressure. She knew that her body was in a pristine state, possibly better than it had been before, but the nerves were being quite stubborn. She tried to keep her emotions in a settled state because she knew that flying off the handle wasn’t going to get her anywhere… She needed to stay calm and just focus on each step forward and the eventual away from Killian.

“Good,” she said with a smile. “I cannot wait until I don’t have to be locked up in that room… I’d much rather be in your bed,” she said, knowing that it was exactly what he wanted to hear. She knew that Killian was enjoying her Extremis enhanced body. He’d voiced his concern before about injuring her, but with Extremis...it simply wasn’t a worry. She didn’t enjoy the sex, but she’d lay there and fake it. She knew it would make him happy and right now that’s all that mattered. She was fairly skilled at emotional games.

“Oh, I have missed you…” He was pulling her into his arms and kissing her. He was far too full of passion for her liking, but she pretended to play along with it. She pretended that she wanted it all as much as he did. 

“Mmm… Why don’t we have some fun?” she suggested as she pulled away from him. She moved towards one of the nearby tables and picked up a knife that had been on a tray of other ‘tools’ and played with it. “Before we move on to the real fun… You know you’d love to warm up that way…” she said as she stared at him. A mischievous smile was on her face and there was joy in her voice as she spoke about what they could be doing. 

 

. . .

 

She just wanted to scream every time she was pushed to the back of her own head. When the control was taken away from her, she felt like whatever was in control...that it just wanted to continue to torture her. Pepper wondered if whatever held control of her could hear her thoughts...if ‘she’ knew how much ‘she’ hurt her… Pepper just felt like she was withering away every time that she touched Killian...or Killian touched her body...or every time she took pleasure in killing… 

Every time ‘she’ appeared, there was always killing… Pepper had noticed that it was children, which made it even more disturbing for her. She wondered if it was Killian’s way of testing her… If this was his way of trying to build more bloodlust in ‘her’. Pepper knew for a fact that Killian didn’t need to help on that front. 

Her own body and mind was her own prison… 

Pepper just wished that she could block out what was happening. She’d tried. She’d tried to focus on happy memories or even just Tony, but none of it took her away from what ‘she’ was doing. Pepper couldn’t shut it out or close her eyes to it. And so, every death done by her hands were etched with blood into her memory. 

She agonized over it all… 

Even though she knew that none of the deaths had been consciously committed by her, it was still her hands...but Amelia hurt the most. She was fairly sure that her holding onto Amelia, the guilt, and her current hatred for herself was what kept her in the dark now… She couldn’t let it go… She just wanted to die, but she couldn’t… She might as well be the Hulk, Extremis ensured that she would continue to live even if she fought for control and won long enough to cause mortal injury to herself.

She watched through her own eyes as ‘she’ killed another child. Pepper could feel how ‘she’ got such exhilaration out of it...and even how it turned ‘her’ on. It made Pepper so sick and if she was in physical control, she would be throwing up. It only made it worse that she knew what would be coming… ‘She’ and Killian in bed together was another thing she wished she could black out. She felt everything and felt sick and guilty for it.

It was her body and her voice was what it all came down to. Maybe she didn’t have full control, but she was experiencing it all as it happened… She couldn’t just push it aside and label it as the things that ‘she’ did… Pepper didn’t even know who ‘she’ was… 

Could she have another personality? 

She didn’t think that this was how it felt when you had split personalities… Pepper was fairly sure that if that were the case, then she’d just black out while ‘she’ had control of her body. Whatever Killian had done to her...this was far more torture than anything in that cell had been… She would happily go back to the cell that had started to feel like it was driving her crazy and bringing her to the brink of starvation or dehydration.

She just wanted it all to end...

She wanted it to end before someone else died…

She didn’t want anymore blood on her hands.

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	7. Leave My Body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, my brain has been fighting about the ending, which tends to curb my writing... I've also been trying to brainstorm for NaNo, which has also tends to keep me from focusing because I was getting so excited about that project! I am determined to have this wrapped up before Halloween though!

I'm gonna be released from behind these lies   
And I don't care whether I live or die   
And I'm losing blood, I'm gonna leave my bones  
~ “Leave My Body” by Florence & the Machine

 

. . .

 

PRESENT

 

“How close are you?” Natasha questioned.

Bruce sighed. “I don’t know for sure…”

“You should just let them do it,” Pepper said quietly. Bruce had been tinkering with whatever Killian had attached to her neck for days. They’d told her that ‘she’ was calling herself Athena (which she knew, but it was sort of nice to be told just the same) and she’d let Bruce just leave after she’d been activated. She was glad that at least she didn’t have to worry about Bruce’s death on her hands. 

“Stop saying that,” Bruce scolded.

“Why?” she asked. Pepper was emotionally exhausted. This past year had just been too much. She didn’t think she could cry another tear, even if she wanted to. She almost felt numb… Maybe Killian and ‘Athena’ really had won. She knew what was coming… They all had to face it and the sooner the better for them all. Pepper was actually surprised that Natasha had been so insistent to sugar coat things for her. 

Tony would die.

She would die.

At least then she wouldn’t have to live any longer with all of those deaths on her and all of that blood on her hands… And she wouldn’t have to live in a world without him. Pepper knew that would be the worst part… Maybe if she had him, then maybe she could figure out how to have the courage to live on...even with all the terrible nightmarish memories. 

“Because we promised Tony that we’d keep you safe,” Natasha finally spoke up after a long silence. “We all know that what happened...none of it was your fault and none of it was you…”

“I can’t change the past,” Pepper whispered as she looked at them both. Bruce and Natasha were the only ones that came to see her in the actual cell, sometimes she noticed Clint lurking. She was sure that he was just watching, making sure everything was kosher. She couldn’t blame him. He was smart to be looking out for Natasha...and Bruce too, though she had a feeling he was mainly there for Natasha. 

“Pepper,” Natasha began.

“But I can shape the future,” she told them. “Tony and I can make decisions now… The world will never be fully healed from what has been done, but we can do good before we both leave the world…”

“Pepper--” Bruce and Natasha both tried to interrupt.

“I know that Killian and I hurt him badly,” she whispered. Pepper wanted to cry for him, but she just couldn’t. “You can’t tell me that he’s going to live…” She knew that Tony could live through a lot, but she knew that he wouldn’t want to live through a painful future. She knew him… She knew him better than Natasha and Bruce did. She probably knew him better than the world… 

“He’s stable,” Bruce said. “The doctors just don’t know where he’s going to be as far as recovery--”

“They think he’s going to recover?” Pepper asked, she was sure that the surprise was clear in her voice. Extremis was nothing to mess with, it wasn’t just the physical strength, but the heat as well. She knew that from that, that she should feel hopeful, but she just couldn’t… She didn’t feel that silver lining or any future that existed beyond the cell she was caged in.

“They can’t be sure,” Bruce said.

“But you said--”

“Tony’s fighting,” Bruce told her. “He’s surprised the doctors as it is… He’s driving the medical staff crazy right now.”

She still wasn’t hopeful. “How about his injuries?”

“Pepper--”

“You’re a doctor,” she said quickly.

“I’m not a surgeon.”

“He’s gone through two surgeries,” Natasha spoke up.

Pepper turned her attention solely to Natasha. She needed not to have this sugar coated for her. Maybe Natasha would tell her the truth and maybe she’d understand that they really did have to think about the future. “What else?” she whispered. 

“They want to do a third, but he’s not strong enough.”

Her head immediately snapped to Bruce. “You said he was stable!”

“Stable and being strong enough are two different things,” Bruce reminded her. “I wasn’t lying. He’s not in critical condition anymore.”

“I don’t understand why you two are being so protective after everything…” Pepper whispered a moment later. She was upset and she was angry. She wanted to be able to be in control of her future. In some way at least.

Natasha sighed. “Try not to hit on Bruce...or kill him while I go talk to Fury about letting you see Tony,” she said before heading out.

Pepper was going to argue, but Natasha moved quickly. She glared a bit at Bruce. “Athena was the one hitting on you, just so we’re clear.”

“Oh, we’re clear,” Bruce told her. “Though, I have to admit…you both can be terrifying…”

“I’m not sure whether that’s a compliment or not.”

“Neither am I.”

 

. . .

 

She didn’t know how Natasha did it or how many ‘favors’ she had to pull, but she managed to get Fury to agree to let her go to the infirmary to see Tony. He obviously wasn’t stable enough to be moved. So, that really had prepared her for how ‘stable’ he would be when she saw him. She just didn’t want to get her hopes up. She wouldn’t let Bruce do that to her. 

Everywhere there were armed guards, but she couldn’t fault them. She was technically dangerous...and Athena was absolutely downright deadly. She half wondered if Fury had absolutely all of his people up at that time and on high alert. It was still smart. It was good to be smart.

“We’ll give you two some time,” Natasha said and they were left mostly alone. Peper was certain that there were far too many guards outside of the door. 

She approached the bed nervously. Pepper could see from entering that Bruce had been trying to build up her hopes. Maybe he thought that if he told her all those things and she bought into them then maybe she wouldn’t be so suicidal. She had been right though…Tony was going to die. She moved the chair nearby so that it was right up against his bed and sat at his bedside. How she wished she could cry right now. 

There were wires and monitors… There was beeping and tubes… His pallor was ghostly white and there was just something about him. Pepper felt like she was just looking at a shell… The shell of the man that she knew and loved more than anyone else in the world. “Tony,” she whispered. “I’m here…”

“Pep,” he barely whispered.

“Shh… I’m here.”

“You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Pepper tried to assure. “Don’t worry about me so much.”

“You’re--you’re all…” he said and then started to cough. Pepper watched as his body violently heaved and she tried to think of how to comfort him. She was at a loss and it hurt her deep down to her soul to feel like perhaps he was suffering… “All I care about…” 

“Tony, you and I need to talk,” she told him seriously and yet gentle at the same time. She could see that he was only holding on for her. They both needed to face facts. He was going to die and she needed to die. “We have to be realistic,” she whispered as she lovingly caressed his cheek. How she’d missed him. How she’d missed touching him. Touching Tony, it was the first time that she’d felt anything...anything other than the negative as Pepper. “We can change this world, Tony… We have to make hard choices...smart choices...and most of all, we have to fight for the future that we want.” 

The future that they wouldn’t see.

 

. . .

 

FOUR MONTHS AGO…

 

It wasn’t the first time that Killian had paraded her around. She hated it. It meant more blood on her hands...more destruction...and more killing. Pepper hated having to watch...having to feel what ‘she’ felt. None of this was what she wanted and Pepper found that she was in control of her own body less and less. ‘She’ was always in control and ‘she’ was blood hungry.

When they came in, she had mixed feelings. It wasn’t the first time that Pepper had seen Tony, but the others… This was the first time she’d seen them. Pepper didn’t know how to feel about it. Though she didn’t know that much about SHIELD or the Avengers’ involvement in what Killian had been doing...what she had been ‘helping’ him to do. 

“Hand over Ms. Potts,” Steve spoke up.

They had come for her…

Hope welled up inside her, but it was only for a moment. Pepper knew that even with Captain America, Black Widow, Hawkeye, the Hulk, and Iron Man that they were no match for Killian or ‘her’ or the Extremis soldiers that were at their sides. She suddenly feared for their safety and wanted to shout out to them that this was a bad plan and to just go. It was better for them to think of her as dead. 

Inside, that was how she felt.

Dead.

She wished that she could make a conscious decision to let her soul leave her body and to just stop the living nightmare. Her existence had been turned into a lie and she just couldn’t fathom existing like this any longer… 

“I’m not holding her against her will,” Killian said as he motioned to her with his hand. “If she wants to go with you, then she is free to do so…”

Pepper wanted to take over her body. She fought and struggled and wished...but nothing she seemed to be able to do would allow her to take control. She wanted to scream and cry and shout. Pepper wanted to push her ‘out’ of her head and her body and wanted to run to those that she knew would keep her safe. She wanted to run into Tony’s armored arms and be kept safe...to be taken home. 

“It’s okay, Pepper,” Tony called out and held out his arm towards her. “We’re here to take you home…”

That’s all she wanted.

She wanted to go home.

She wanted to go into his arms.

Instead, in horror, her body stepped forward without her permission. ‘She’ reached out and grabbed a child and snapped its neck. She died a little more inside. Pepper watched as the Avengers had an exchange amongst themselves. She was certain that they were discussing how she wasn’t her or how she had been changed...or anything along those lines. 

When the fighting began, she ached and felt like crying. Pepper wanted to be able to flip the switch and become herself again. She wanted to be able to be herself so badly. She wanted to have a chance...a fighting chance to regain control. Though she couldn’t manage to regain control of her own body, Pepper was overwhelmed with relief when the SHIELD vehicles moved in and started pulling bodies out of there. There were children amongst them and she just hoped that they were still alive and that SHIELD could help them.

Take them and run, she thought. 

The Avengers advanced on them, but Extremis was too much to handle in the end. Pepper already knew that. She knew that it wasn’t easy. ‘She’ was making it more difficult… Pepper hated ‘her’. She wished that she could banish ‘her’. If only it were possible…

If only…

Pepper knew that she shouldn’t feel happy that the Avengers were moving back, but it meant that they would be safe. She’d already witnessed them taking quite a beating, she just hoped that they were okay. Pepper couldn’t do anything to help them, but she did hope that they stayed safe...and alive. That was all that she could really wish for. 

She knew that the despair would come later…

It would sink in that she’d come so close to going home…

But they’d be safe.

He’d be safe.

That was what mattered most.

They were going to leave, she could tell. Tony would be safe. Killian wouldn’t be able to kill him if he was safe with SHIELD. But it didn’t look like Tony was quite done. He’d taken a step towards them again. 

“You could have anyone!” Tony yelled. “Why her?”

“Because I wanted her...and for probably the first time in your life, she’s something you can’t have!” Killian yelled back.

Pepper just wanted to take over and fight against Killian right then and there. She wasn’t his property… Her life should be her own...and her heart should be hers to give. It would never be Killian’s. It would always belong to Tony. She could only imagine what his eyes would have looked like if his helmet hadn’t been on. 

If only she could keep Killian from using her like this…

If only it were easy to take back control.

Or if she could just die...leave her body...and finally be at peace...and let those be at peace knowing that her body wasn’t being used to kill innocents.

If only…

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	8. Cosmic Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so my brain is struggling to finish this, but I know how it ends and it should have two more chapters after this one...and hopefully I can have them done before NaNo starts... So crossing my fingers on that one! I have completed the first chapter of "Without" and have the two story lines mapped out for like the first five chapters... I think it'll be nice to have a month off and then come back fresh to really work on that. "Without" really will end up being two stories.

And in the dark,    
I can hear your heartbeat,   
I try to find the sound,    
But then it stopped,    
And I was in the darkness,    
So darkness I became,  
~ “Cosmic Love” by Florence & the Machine

 

. . .

 

PRESENT

 

Arrangements would be made. Whether anyone liked it, agreed with it, or supported it. They would make their stand and fight for the future. This was something that she had control over...that they both had control over...and was likely to be the last decisions of their lives. Pepper wanted it to count. She wanted it to mean something.

“What did you and Tony talk about?” Bruce asked.

“Why don’t you ask him?” she questioned a little too quiet and flat. 

Bruce had been in there for some time and had been tinkering with the device on her neck. She’d just sat there quietly while he’d been at work. She really hadn’t had anything to say. There was no point, she just wanted to make peace with herself. Which was hard. There were regrets she had. There was a future she’d dreamed of. And there was a past that she wished she could wash away parts of. 

“He wouldn’t talk to me about it,” Bruce admitted.

“But you want me to tell you?” she asked as she turned to look at him.

Bruce let out a sigh. “You know I care about you both… You’re family… I just...I think you two have forgotten that we’re all here for you.”

It was true, they thought of Bruce as family. Bruce was family. All of the Avengers were family. Happy was family...and Rhodey. Oh, how she’d missed them all. 

“Pepper,” Bruce said after there was a long silence between them. “You’re not going to do anything stupid, are you?”

She turned her head to look at him and put her hand on his. Pepper smiled at him sweetly. “Bruce, I’m touched by your concern… I appreciate it. Really…” Her other hand touched his cheek and she tilted her head slightly. If she could cry, right now there would be tears running down her face. 

“Pep--”

“You know Tony and I love you--”

“Pepper, whatever you’re thinking of doing--”

She kissed his cheek and effectively silenced him. Pepper cupped his face with her hands and stared into his eyes. They were so kind and yet so worried. She knew that he was trying to do everything he could to keep her alive, but she didn’t want that. She really did feel like she was at peace. For the first time in a long time, she wasn’t worried about anything. She knew what was coming… She knew how the future would be shaped… She knew how it would all work out… “I’m okay,” she whispered after a moment. 

Pepper moved away from him. She crossed her arms over her chest and moved so that her back was to him and she was on the other side of the cell. She stared out of the cell and knew what was coming next...who was coming. She could feel Athena pushing for control… This was the longest in a long time that she’d just been able to be Pepper.

And for the first time, she let Athena take control. 

This was going to be the final time that she’d allow Athena to surface. Pepper wouldn’t allow ‘her’ to hurt anyone else. She was going to go out of this world on her own terms...and that was that. She’d push as hard as she needed to make sure that that happened. 

Athena turned to look at him. “Hello there.” 

“Athena.”

Pepper was pushed to the back, but that was okay for now. The only reason that she was okay with it was because she knew that Athena wouldn’t hurt Bruce. Pepper also felt like she could control Athena now that she wasn’t so emotional about everything. She couldn’t channel the Extremis powers as well as Athena could.

“Be a dear and stay out of my way,” Athena told him with a smile. 

“What are you going to do?”

Pepper pushed forward. She held onto the peace and then spoke. “Go home,” Pepper said simply.

Athena reappeared and walked past a very stunned looking Bruce. She placed her hand onto the glass of the cell and it quickly started to melt away. She stepped through and the alarms went off. She turned and smiled at Bruce. She knew what would come next. The cell would drop. But because of Pepper, Athena knew that Bruce would survive because of the Hulk. “Don’t hurry back, Love,” Athena told him and blew him a kiss as the cell started to unbuckle from its locks. She didn’t hang around to watch the cell drop. 

Athena made her way through the carrier, but Pepper kept the reins firmly in her grasp. She was going to try to steer her in the direction she wanted her to go in and to try to keep her from killing anyone. Pepper didn’t want a higher body count on her hands. Athena knocked people out of their way with ease and so far...her ability to at least slightly control Athena seemed to be working. 

Peace.

That was all she felt inside and that’s what she was using to control Athena. Her overly overly emotional self was gone. Being overly emotional had just kept her held in a prison inside of herself. If Pepper couldn’t actually feel Athena coming into physical contact with each person who fell to the sides, she would have thought that she was telekinetic. It was like the room was put in slow motion, but at the same time, Athena walked through it with ease. Nothing was getting in her way. 

Eventually, Athena stepped foot into the infirmary and that’s when Pepper took over. It felt good to be able to regain control. To feel for once like she wasn’t helpless. She looked around for a moment before slowly making her way towards where she remembered Tony had been. Pepper looked around again before entering his room and closing the door. She closed the privacy blinds and looked over to where Tony lay. 

The last year, all she’d wanted was to be held and told that she was safe. That’s it. It seemed so simple and yet so silly, but it meant the world to her. Tony could drive her absolutely crazy, but he also knew how to keep her sane when it counted. He knew how to make her feel loved. They completed each other and that was that. They belonged together, now and forever.

Pepper lowered the bed rail and then climbed up into the bed besides Tony, she wrapped her arms around him gently and curled into him. “I love you,” she whispered. She pressed a kiss to the side of his head. They were doing what was right, she knew that. She’d been the one to push it forward, but that didn’t mean that she wanted to rush things. Pepper was sure that Fury would know by now that she’d broken out and that she hadn’t been the one who had dropped out of the helicarrier in the cell. Soldiers would be there to drag her back at any minute. 

“I love you,” he whispered back to her. His arms slowly curled around her. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes,” Pepper said and kissed the side of his head again. “It’s the right thing…”

“You know the one thing I’ll regret?” he asked as he turned his head until his eyes met hers. 

“What?” 

He smiled. It was almost a silly smile. It was the kind of smile that he only had for her. “I never got to pop the question… We never got married… I never got to give you my last name… Seems silly now…”

She cupped his face and kissed him. Pepper pressed her forehead against his. “I wish we’d done it…” Pepper didn’t think that she’d ever go by Pepper Stark or Virginia Stark, but it was the fact that she’d be one. 

“Maybe we still can…” he whispered in response. 

Pepper was trying to keep good and peaceful thoughts. She didn’t want to lose control. “Do you remember…” she started and then paused for a moment. “After Christmas...before we moved to Stark Tower…”

“Paris,” Tony whispered with a smile.

She smiled too. “Paris.”

 

. . .

 

A LITTLE OVER A YEAR BEFORE

 

Paris was beautiful, no matter the season. They’d been there other times, but it had always been on business before. Though they’d gotten to see some sites, it was never the same. She’d always been tense and trying to keep on schedule, to keep up appearances and to follow through on business deals. This was different. 

They were different.

She and Tony had been through so much. So much had changed, but so much had stayed the same too. Their home had been lost, but then they really could live anywhere in the world and still manage the company. It wouldn’t be from Paris, but they did need the time away. It wasn’t just about getting away from the fact that their world had literally been blown up and had fallen into the ocean, but that they needed the time to be together. They’d stabilized Stark Industries from Stark Tower in Manhattan before they’d left and Pepper had also taken the opportunity to do some shopping as well.

“You know, we could just spend our time in bed,” Tony suggested.

Pepper smiled over her shoulder for a moment. He was still in bed and was not very happy about her making him get up to get dressed and leave the hotel suite. She was already in her dress and zipping it up. “You know that this isn’t a honeymoon, right?”

“We could make it one,” Tony suggested as he walked towards her, completely naked. He wrapped his arms around her and he was kissing her neck. 

“We’re not eloping just because you want to spend the whole time in bed,” Pepper told him. She could feel that he was hard again and it was pressing against her back. She sighed and pulled away. It wasn’t just Tony, but herself that she had to worry about. Tony drove her crazy, but he drove her crazy in bed as well. She couldn’t even entertain the thought of undressing again or else they really weren’t going to be doing anything while they were in Paris...and Tony had promised her that this trip would be anything she wanted it to be.

Tony groaned. “Pep,” he pouted.

“You promised me--”

“And how is it that you can make any word sound like a four letter word?” Tony complained.

“Practice,” she told him with a grin. “I’m going to go fix my face.” They were going to go out for a little shopping before dinner. Nothing major, but she still liked to look her best. Plus, there would be press following them even if they were in Paris. Pepper really thought it was important for them to maintain looks and looking like everything was grand with the world even though they’d been through a lot and lost their home.

“You know...you seriously don’t need any of that,” Tony called after her.

She checked her face in the mirror and just smiled. Tony was sweet. He’d seen her in all kinds of states and it was still odd for her to see him without make-up. Even though they’d been living together and they’d worked together for even longer… Happy had made a comment before they’d left him in Malibu that they were acting like an old married couple. Pepper fixed what needed to be fixed before applying some more lipstick. She moved onto her hair a moment later. 

“You know it wouldn’t be such a horrible thing if we eloped…” Tony said as he entered the bathroom behind her. He was partially dressed now. His arms wrapped around her and she was trying not to hit him with the hairbrush. Tony kissed her neck again. “Would it?”

“No,” she whispered as she stared at him via his reflection in the mirror. “But...we’ve been through a lot… I don’t--”

“I’m not just saying it because of everything we’ve been through,” Tony told her. “I’ve loved you longer than I knew that I did…”

Pepper smiled at him. “So, don’t you think that it would be nice to have a proper wedding?” she asked as she turned in his arms.

“If that’s what you want,” he told her. 

“Is it what you want?”

Tony shrugged. “I don’t want a big crazy media televised event…”

“No,” Pepper said gently. “But it would be nice to have Happy and Rhodey...and others that we care about there… Just close friends…” 

“That sounds close to eloping,” Tony told her. 

Pepper stared at him. He was serious about getting married, she could see it in his eyes. She’d thought about it here and there, but in the end she’d figured that Tony just didn’t want to be traditional. She’d known him for a long time and she knew that even though he loved her deeply, that there was no changing him into a different person. “You know, we don’t have to get married… I’m not going anywhere,” she told him in a quiet voice. She watched the look change on his face and could tell that she’d upset him.

“You don’t want to--”

“I didn’t think you wanted to,” she admitted. “It’s a big step… And if it’s you and me, then it’s permanent… I’m not getting divorced...we’d have to work through everything.”

“I’ve been working on working on things,” Tony told her very matter of factly. “I’m getting better…”

She smiled at him and then leaned in to place a quick kiss on his lips. “You are…”

“I’m pretty sure Happy would just remind me how incredibly lucky I am to have you in my life...and then explain to me how whatever was my fault,” Tony told her. “So, see...problem solved…”

“You do realize that there’s usually a step in between dating and marriage,” Pepper reminded. She kissed him again. It really was tempting to stay in, but she really was trying to stay on the task that she had in mind. 

“Are we really considering this dating?” Tony asked as he scrunched up his face a bit. 

Pepper just smiled at him. “I suppose that our relationship is far from traditional,” she told him and then moved from his arms. She finished up her hair as he stood there. She wasn’t going to allow him to distract her from what she had planned. They’d have plenty of time later for distractions.

“Is that really such a bad thing?” 

Pepper looked over at him and frowned a bit. “Of course not…”

“But you want more?”

“It’s not that exactly,” Pepper started to say. “I mean, yes, of course I’d love to have the ring on my finger and wear the white dress… To be officially ‘Mrs. Stark’ and put out that message that we’re together and that’s it… But I know how your life is… How our lives are… That’s not always practical… We’ve worked through a lot… We’re still working through things, that’s a relationship,” Pepper said gently. “I’m okay being Tony Stark and Pepper Potts and to have our non-traditional relationship if that’s what you want…”

She had come so far in life as far as career and everything else, what else could she really argue for? Pepper didn’t crave the ‘normal’ life with a white picket fence and the two point five kids and a dog… She liked the idea of kids, but she didn’t even know if that was in the cards for them. She really didn’t know what was in the cards for them… Right now, she knew that she just needed to focus on keeping Tony sane, keep the company stable, and figure out what they were going to do with the property in Malibu… That was enough for the moment.

“I want more than that,” he whispered as he stared at her.

“Tell me,” she prompted quietly.

“I want us to get married, Pep,” he said, it was practically a plea.

Pepper stared at him. “So, why don’t we do it?”

“I guess deep down I’m afraid if I do the whole down on one knee...ring in my hand...that you’ll realize that there’s someone else out there that’s good enough for you.”

She closed the short distance between them and cupped his face in her hands. Tears ran down her face, but she didn’t care right now. “Tony, you’re the man that I want to be with...I can honestly say that I don’t know that I know how to live my life without you in it…”

“Pep--”

“Ask me now,” she whispered.

“I don’t have the ring,” he confessed. “You know I’m still trying to master the selecting of things that you like and appreciate…”

“I’ll say ‘yes’,” Pepper told him. 

A smile lit his face. “Then, I’ll plan on shopping for rings…”

“Good,” she whispered. “But tonight… We’re going to go out…” She leaned in and kissed him. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he replied back simply. 

Pepper smiled brightly and wiped her tears away. She sighed and then looked over at the mirror. She’d messed up her make-up. “Go on,” she said a moment later when she looked back at him. She patted the center of his arc-less chest with her hand. “Get finished… I’m going to touch up my face… I’ll be out in a minute.”

“You’re beautiful…”

“I’m a mess,” she argued.

“Never.”

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	9. Between Two Lungs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so you might of noticed that November hit...which means NaNoWriMo... Since I went to a write-in last night and got my word count caught up, I decided to work on the fic... I finally finished this chapter and hopefully it has the mix of emotions that I intended.

Gone are all the days of begging   
The days of theft   
No more gasping for a breath   
The air filled me head to toe   
And I can see the ground far below   
I have this breathe and I hold it tight   
And I keep it in my chest with all my might   
I pray to god this breath will last   
As it pushes past my lips as I...    
Gasp  
~ “Between Two Lungs” by Florence & the Machine

 

. . .

 

PRESENT

 

“They’re not going to allow us--”

“Everything’s already taken care of,” Tony whispered.

“Everything?”

“JARVIS and I have had everything ironed out… Just like we discussed.”

Pepper smiled sadly at him. This was it. This was how it was going to end. It would end, but they’d be in control. They’d be dead, but ultimately...they’d be controlling the future. The world would be saved and would heal in their absence… 

“There’s still time…”

“Shhh,” she cooed. Pepper curled up with him and then kissed the side of his head. She knew that he would prefer that she live. That she somehow was pardoned from all of the death and destruction and that she’d carry on...but the truth was, Pepper just couldn’t come to terms with any of it and actually had welcomed Fury having her killed. But this, this she was at peace with. She wished he was too.

“I just--”

“You and I, we’re going to be together, Tony,” she whispered. “We’ve been through so much together… That’s how our future has to be, together…”

“This might not work…”

“What might not?” she asked as she stared at him. Pepper was confident that everything was going to be fine. 

“The armor… It’s not built for this,” Tony told her. “JARVIS is trying to make adjustments, but there’s no guarantee…”

“I have faith in you...and JARVIS,” Pepper told him. 

“We should have eloped in Paris,” Tony whispered.

“We’ll elope now,” Pepper said as she moved to kiss his lips. She knew that he had said that marrying her was what he regretted, but in truth...it was paper and a ceremony… They’d lived their lives together for so long now… Getting married would just make it official. 

“We should get going.”

“I know,” Pepper whispered. She moved out of the bed and she carefully gathered Tony up in her arms. There had already been a nurse by to unhook him from all of the machines and they’d just been waiting. They already knew that the suit was there in the bay, it just was the walk… 

“They’re going to want to say goodbye,” Tony said.

“I thought you told them--”

“That doesn’t mean they listen… You know how they are...especially Natasha...they’re stubborn…”

“I’m pretty sure you all are,” Pepper told him. 

 

. . .

 

Bruce, Natasha, and Clint had all been there. No one had said anything, but their eyes had said it all. This wasn’t what they wanted to see happen, but Pepper just hoped that they understood. Maybe not now, but in a year… At least she hoped so.

“This wasn’t how I thought I’d go out...how either of us would…” Tony said.

He was right.

She didn’t think so either.

But here they were. In the year that she’d been gone, Tony had still tinkered. He’d made a rather oversized suit that actually could encase a normal sized Iron Man suit inside of it. Tony had tested it against the Hulk and had hoped that it would work against those with Extremis, apparently the systems still weren’t Extremis heat proof. But there was enough space inside of the suit for both of them. It wasn’t the most comfortable fit, but they were together. 

“We’re together,” Pepper whispered.

And that was what mattered.

They leaned their foreheads against each other and were quiet for a long time. The plan was simple and something that Pepper couldn’t override even if Athena took over. The only voice override that JARVIS would accept would be Tony’s. The suit was to launch them upwards and out of the Earth’s orbit. Far enough where they wouldn’t fall back down. Thirty minutes after they were both gone from suffocation, the suit would explode. It was the only way that Fury would agree to it. SHIELD and those they reported to wanted proof that she was dead for sure. Between the explosion and space, Pepper didn’t know how else Athena could survive if she pushed through and took over.

“Do you ever think about how our lives might have been different?” Tony asked.

She didn’t know if it was just regrets or dying that was bringing out this from him. She just wanted to be with him and make sure that she knew how much she loved him before they both died. That was it. She was at peace and she knew that she couldn’t regret her life with him. 

“Tony--”

“I should have given up being Iron Man after Obadiah...definitely after the expo,” Tony said. “I made our lives more dangerous...and let’s face it...it just messed up my mental health more…”

“It was more dangerous, yes,” Pepper agreed. “But if you had given it up...I don’t think we would have ever made it together,” she told him. “We’d probably be back in Malibu and I’d be escorting some new conquest out of your room as you hid in your workshop.”

“I never hid,” Tony argued.

Pepper smirked. “Mmhmm…”

“You, more than anything else, have made me a better person, Pep,” Tony told her. He cupped her face and kissed her. 

Tears fell from her eyes and she fought being emotional. She didn’t want Athena to ruin the bit of time she still had left with Tony. It was precious little time, Pepper knew. Tony was going to fade far before she did. That thought made her even more emotional. Pepper knew she had to hold it together though. She couldn’t fall apart, not now...not yet. 

“I love you,” she whispered as her voice broke. 

“Reaching designated coordinates,” JARVIS spoke up.

“You have everything, JARVIS? Everything will be in place?” Tony asked.

This was about the tenth time Tony had asked, though it was probably more comforting than anything else to know that everything would be taken care of. JARVIS would see to it. Even if he was just an AI, he’d make sure that everything was followed through with. Pepper had no doubt about that. 

“Everything is in place or will be, Sir,” JARVIS said. “And may I say, it has been a pleasure serving both of you.”

“Likewise, JARVIS,” Tony replied.

“You will be missed.”

“Thank you,” Pepper whispered. She was sad all of the sudden again. She was certain that anyone else would think that she was crazy getting worked up over leaving behind an AI, but JARVIS was part of their family. 

There was silence between them as they just savored the touch of each other. Pepper welcomed the silence over talking about possible regrets. Pepper didn’t find in going over things they regretted now. The past was the past and the future was fixed. They just had to remember that what they were doing was going to benefit others. The future would be beautiful, they just wouldn’t be there to see it.

“Pep,” Tony whispered. 

He had asked her before they’d left the helicarrier if she wanted JARVIS to keep her updated on his condition, but she’d opted not to be constantly reminded. It wasn’t as if she could change anything. And really, she’d much rather die with him than alone… 

“I’m here,” she whispered against him as calmly as possible. His head was rest in the crook of her neck and she was sure that he was starting to fade. She turned her head a bit and kissed the side of his head. 

“I love you…” he whispered.

“I know,” she whispered as tears fell from her eyes. She closed them and pressed her head down against his shoulder. “I love you too.”

“We’re doing the right thing,” he said quietly, but confidently.

“I know,” she whispered again. “It’s going to be hard for them at first, but then…”

“Endless possibility,” Tony finished.

Even with the circumstances, Pepper couldn’t think of another better horrible way to die. If she was going to die in some horrible way, then she was glad that it was there with him… That they could be so close and intimate in their final moments of life. She smiled as she thought about all of their years together… He’d come a long way...they both had… Pepper couldn’t imagine what she’d have said if someone had told her that all these years later that she’d be to the point where she was married to him… 

She’d have thought they were insane.

Now she couldn’t think of a more insane thing than them not being together. Pepper sucked in breath and closed her eyes. She just focused on the small things. This was all that mattered. These final moments. She listened to his heartbeat and his breathing. She took in the feel of her skin against hers. She took in his scent and she tried to think about all the beautiful moments that she treasured.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Paris.”

“Paris was great…” he said and she could hear the smile in his voice.

“That’s where we should have honeymooned…”

“Well, we had tried to start that.”

She giggled and nodded against him. “I was happy to really have you back… No anxiety or hiding…” she admitted. “How could I focus on architecture or paintings when I had the most beautiful thing back in my life?”

“You’re such a flatterer…”

“It’s true.”

“I always felt like I’d twisted your arm.”

“No,” she whispered. 

“Or maybe like I seduced you…”

She laughed at that. Seduction wasn’t exactly something that Tony was good at. He was far too out of practice in the art of ‘wooing’ a woman. He was used to girls falling all over him...and he wasn’t used to having to actually having a relationship. He’d been working on it, but they’d made baby steps. “Well, you had already somehow won my heart...long ago…”

“I still think I knew that you were the one that first day, I just didn’t really know.”

“I’m not sure if that makes sense.”

“That’s okay… I think you know what I mean.”

She laughed lightly. “I do…”

“You’re beautiful…”

“You’re handsome…”

“I love you.”

“I love you,” she whispered back and then tears started to fall from her eyes. 

 

. . .

 

A LITTLE OVER A YEAR AGO

 

Paris was beautiful, like always, but it just wasn’t as she’d hoped. She was distracted...and she swore it was in a good way. She was so thankful for Tony...for having him back...for not having to worry about the shrapnel or the arc reactor. For things to feel almost normal. 

Things would never be normal, she knew that. 

It was something she’d accepted long ago.

“You know, I didn’t mean to be grumpy or disinterested,” Tony apologized once they re-entered their hotel suite. 

“You were fine,” she told him quietly.

“Something’s wrong…”

“No,” she lied. It wasn’t like it was something big that was wrong… She was just disappointed in not being completely invested in the things that she’d planned to do there now that they were actually in Paris and they’d been able to go out of their hotel room. 

“Pep--”

She turned to him and closed the distance between them. “I don’t want this trip to be about me--”

“We agreed--”

“But we’re beyond that, aren’t we?” she asked.

“I’m not following…”

She ran her hand down his chest and let a hand settle over where the arc reactor had been. It was still so odd for it not to be there. She’d actually grown attached to it. Silly. “You and I. We’re closer than just two people dating…”

“We live together,” he said with a shrug.

Pepper sighed and shook her head. “Tony…”

“What?”

“We’ve talked about marriage and even if we’re not engaged or married...we’ve been together too long for things to be simple between us…

“I still don’t know where you’re going with this…”

“This trip should be about us…” she clarified. “It should be about celebrating that we’re both alive… That we’re both together… That we both have a future…”

“There’s been so much ‘me’ stuff though,” he reminded.

Pepper smiled at him and patted his chest. She supposed that it was a good first step that he was admitting to knowing that. That showed something. It at the very least showed that he wasn’t completely selfish. He knew how things had been and this was the only way he knew to change things. “But that was in the past…”

“Pep--”

She leaned in and kissed him. Pepper effectively silenced him and pushed off his jacket as her hands travelled up his shoulders. Sometimes it confused her when she knew that Tony was a genius, there were just some things that he didn’t get. She supposed that it was how he was so complex. “Less talking,” she told him a moment later when she broke the kiss. 

“I--I--I can do that,” he mumbled a moment later.

Pepper grinned and between the two of them, clothing hit the floor at an alarming rate. Their hands were all over each other and when their mouths left each other for anything other than a breath, it was to kiss the other’s neck or shoulder. At first, they were both so very enthusiastic and eager...but by the time they hit the bed, their touches and kisses were slow and savoring. 

His arms held her, strong and yet gentle. Pepper loved being held by him...whether it was in bed as a comfort or in a more intimate way. He gently laid her on the bed and hovered over her. Tony leaned down, careful of his weight, and kissed her passionately while taking his time. His body pressed against her and she could feel him hard against her. She ran her hand down her chest, but stopped when he moved his lips from hers to her neck. His lips moved on to her shoulder and then down to her breasts. 

Gasps escaped her lips as Tony took his time loving and adoring her breasts with his hands, lips, and tongue. She wanted him so much more now and the growing heat and wetness between her legs were proof of that. Pepper wiggled a bit and then lifted her hips just a bit. 

“Patience,” he whispered.

That was a really horrible word at the moment and she was going to argue explaining that they could practice patience another time when a moan escaped her lips. His fingers had moved downward and he was only making her want him that much more. Normally, she was very good at being patient, but not right now…

Right now, she just wanted him.

Tony positioned himself and slowly entered her. His hands moved her legs open as far as they would easily go before moving them back up towards her chest. He moved in even closer to her as he started a slow pace. He moved his hands to either side of her chest. His lips were on hers as the agonizingly slow pace continued. 

“Tony,” she managed to get out just before another moan escaped her lips. Pepper so desperately wanted to be in control, to set the pace and to know when the release would come. She knew that she should be savoring this time, a time where she actually didn’t have to make decisions...but the pace he was setting was making that hard for her to deal with. “Please…” she started to plead.

A low chuckle came from him. He picked up the pace just a bit as his lips moved down to her breasts again and his tongue started to draw designs that only Tony knew what they were. Her nipples were so hard under his ministrations. 

“Ton--” she started again, but his mouth on hers silenced her. Tony changed the pace again and pressed his body more fully against hers. The feeling of his skin against her sensitive nipples continued the pleasure. His hands were tracing her curves and she was holding on to ensure he wouldn’t get too far from her grasp. 

Moans started to fill the room and Pepper’s body started to feel the rush of intense pleasure as it waved over her. Tony wasn’t there, though, and so she knew that this wasn’t over. Her back arched and his hand found it, holding her closer as her body continued to be assaulted by the pleasure he was bringing. 

Tony’s thrusts became faster and more eager. Pepper’s fingers pressed into his flesh as she held onto him. She felt one of his hands move from her back and move between them. She could feel him twitch inside of her and then she was suddenly filled with his warmth. That didn’t stop his fingers, though. His pace slowed, but he continued just the same. His fingers were like magic and had her over the edge again only moments after him. “Tony!” she screamed as she shook against him. She closed her eyes and focused on how her body felt… Tony’s fingers continued to play for a minute and she just moaned like crazy. 

Eventually, their bodies separated, but only in order to curl up next to each other. Pepper was so content and still felt the slight tingle of pleasure still dancing through her. He kissed her head and she knew that no matter what, no matter what was brought at them, that they were going to be okay… They’d be together… They were the perfect pair and they obviously could last the test of time...and anything any villain had to throw at them. 

“I love you,” she whispered as she traced the side of his face with the tips of her fingers. 

“I love you, Pep.”

She smiled at him and scooted a tad bit closer until his skin seemed to touch every bit of her side that was against his. “I’ll say yes, you know,” she whispered.

“And I’ll be the luckiest and happiest man in the whole universe…”

“Our future is going to be beautiful…”

“As long as it’s with you, that’s all that matters…”

“I’m never letting you go, Tony.”

 

. . .

 

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, it's not the end... There's a final chapter that's sort of like an epilogue that's coming.


	10. Never Let Me Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I have no idea why I struggled so much with this chapter. I really was trying to get the last chapter done correctly. I went back and forth with the POV and finally decided on Natasha. So, hopefully what I had intended on getting across with the final scene makes sense to everyone! This has been really weighing on my brain...since I've been trying to do NaNo and then the Arrow fandom has been trying to lure me to write while NaNo is on...which is seriously dangerous for me. Fear not! I will make sure that in December that I work on the "Without" stories for sure!

And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,    
And all this devotion was rushing over (out of) me,    
And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me,    
But the arms of the ocean deliver me.  
~ “Never Let Me Go” by Florence & the Machine

 

. . .

 

PRESENT (SIX MONTHS LATER)

 

This was never how she thought the world would have looked like three years ago… This wasn’t how she thought the world would look like six months ago… Everything had changed. It wasn’t just the world, but it was also the people in it. The world had been left in shambles, but somehow...somehow it wasn’t so horrible anymore… 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Clint asked as they arrived at the bottom of Stark Tower.

“No,” she whispered. She was certain that the ghosts she knew should be in that building would continue to haunt her. “But I made a promise...and I intend to keep it…”

“I’ll wait for you…”

Natasha smiled over at him. “You could always come with me… I’m sure there’s a nice high spot.”

Clint grinned at her, but then shook his head. “It’s okay… I’ll just get a coffee instead…”

She was going to be fine, she knew that. She could handle this. It was going to be nothing. She was just checking in. That was it. Clint had said that he just was bored and figured she could use company for the trip there. “I’ll text you when I’m on my way down.” With that, he set off and she watched him go. She glanced upward one last time before entering. She was greeted and made her way through. Things were so different at Stark Tower compared to how they had been when she’d worked undercover with Stark Industries in Malibu. Stark Industries’ mission had changed drastically since SHIELD had taken interest in Tony Stark so many years ago. She suddenly felt quite old.

“I’m here for the CEO,” Natasha announced at the desk. 

“Is he expecting you?” the young woman asked.

“Yes,” she confirmed. “Natasha Romanoff.”

“Aren’t you--”

Before the woman could finish her question, Natasha made her way past her and headed into the office where she knew she’d be meeting the newest CEO of Stark Industries. She was both nervous and excited. So much had changed and so much had been laid in place to ensure that Stark would go on and that the world would rebuild.

The office was grand and spacious. It looked a lot like Pepper’s office had at Stark Industries in Malibu. She wondered if it had been kept that way on purpose. Behind the desk was a familiar face and as expected, he looked stress.

“Hello Bruce,” she said a bit cheerily.

He looked up and smiled at her, big and wide. He pulled off his glasses and set them on his desk before getting up and making his way around the large desk to her. He wrapped his arms around her into a warm hug. “It’s good to see you,” he said.

“Especially since it’s not on SHIELD business?” she asked as she moved back from him. He smiled in response. “You look good, Bruce.”

“Thanks,” he said. “This is all...alot...there’s never not something for me to do.” He motioned around. 

Natasha smiled at him. “You’re doing good work.”

“I’m following orders is all,” Bruce said with a shrug. “I just hope I’m doing it right…”

“They would have been proud of you, you know…”

“I don’t know about that,” he said, sounding a bit nervous.

“The world is the place that they wanted it to be because of what you’ve done...because you stepped up to do what had to be done.” 

Before Tony and Pepper had set off six months ago in the suit and then eventually exploded in space, they’d set instructions in place with JARVIS. Everything that they wanted to happen, it had all been in place before their deaths. It had been very detailed in who they wanted to run the company, how they wanted it run, and what steps needed to be taken to make amends for what had happened. 

They had wanted Bruce and Bruce had been completely against it at first. They’d all talked him into it even though he’d been afraid of stressing out and losing it to the Hulk. They’d all promised to be there if he called, but he hadn’t called any of them. The company was to be kept out of the weapons business (still) and for it to be for the good of the people of the world. Tony wanted to push the projects for a greener world while Pepper was concerned about what Bruce could do with the Stark fortune backing him for charity organizations.

It had taken all of the brightest minds of the world in order to come to a point where they could treat those who had been forcibly infected with the Extremis virus. Eventually they found an effective treatment which combated the virus. Bruce ensured that it was distributed worldwide free of charge. That was what Pepper had wanted. She had wanted everyone that had been affected by Extremis, Killian, and even herself...to be helped in any way he could manage. Which meant that he’d been pushing excess funds to the world relief units. The world had changed immensely in the last six months. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than it had been. 

“You know, I never heard what happened to Killian…” Bruce brought up after a few silent moments.

“SHIELD took him into custody,” Natasha told him. “He managed to regenerate from the state Pepper had left him in… As far as I know, they disposed of him.”

“That’s not good enough,” Bruce said all too calmly.

Natasha frowned and stared right at him. “I know,” she agreed sincerely. “There’s not much I can do though.”

“It’s more than what he did to the world… It’s what he did to Pepper… It’s what he did to Tony… He took them away from us…” Bruce crossed his arms over his chest and looked down for a moment. “I sleep in their suite…” He smiled a little. “You know, they insisted on a lot of things… They wanted me to feel like I had a new life,” Bruce told her as he looked back up at her.

“You had the thickest letter,” Natasha said. They’d all been given a letter. Pepper had written them, but they’d been from both Pepper and Tony. She’d waited two weeks after their funerals before finally opening it. For the first time in some time, she’d sobbed. Maybe it was because she’d finally felt like she could cope with grieving...but she’d let them get close...closer than most.

“A lot of it was explaining why they’d left everything to me and their wishes,” Bruce explained. “There was a lot of them telling me that they felt like I was apart of their family, which I feel like was their version of a pep talk and being okay with taking the Stark fortune and becoming CEO of the company.”

“You’ve changed the company,” Natasha said. She’d noticed the new logo in the lobby when she’d entered. The Stark name was still on the building, though, she supposed that some things just didn’t change.

Bruce nodded. “SPI for Stark Potts International. I thought that it was more fitting… We’ve been calling it SPI,” Bruce explained. “The board agrees that we should honor them, but at the same time...they’re not exactly everyone’s favorite people still…”

“They don’t know everything…”

Bruce looked like he was going to rage. He took a visible large breath and then turned towards the window. “But they should… You have no idea how frustrating it is to be here everyday and to hear the whispers… They don’t know… It’s not fair… It’s not fair to their memory… And really, it ends up not being fair to the company.”

“The board that Fury answers to refuses to let that truth be released…”

Natasha hated it, but what could she do? The SHIELD board didn’t want all the details released, but Natasha didn’t understand how it could really make anything worse. Tony Stark had acted in every way to save the woman he loved and had tried his hardest to keep it together as far as everything else in his life. Pepper Potts had been tortured by Aldrich Killian and forced to watch herself kill so many...she’d been changed into a demon… The world shouldn’t remember them the way that they did… 

Natasha was quiet for a while as she thought. She remembered when she’d first met Tony and Pepper. Maybe that was when she’d first somehow gotten attached to them. She didn’t know for sure. She’d been undercover and she’d worked with them both separately. Neither of them, okay maybe Tony, had really 

 

“If anything,” she whispered. “They should remember them as those who loved each other so much that they would do anything…”

“They should know that everything I’m doing is their wish,” Bruce added. 

It had been difficult for all of them. She guessed that none of them realized how attached they’d become to Tony and even Pepper until it was time to say goodbye and none of them could do it. She remembered how content they’d both seemed and how mad she’d been at them that that was just it. But she’d realized that they’d both made the choices that they could live with and what they had felt like were the best ones at the time. She wasn’t saying they had been wrong, but they had been difficult.

“JARVIS I’m sure has everything you might need recorded on the servers,” Natasha said a moment later. She wanted to help Bruce, but at the same time...she didn’t want to be on the wrong foot with Fury. SHIELD was still her home (as well as Barton’s) and she couldn’t sacrifice that right now. She needed the familiarity and the routine that came with it too badly. In truth, sometimes things got quite difficult for her to cope with and she needed Barton. 

“Perhaps,” Bruce said. “I know that there are still items that are time-released that haven’t been released yet. But you’re right, I’ll go through the server archive and see what I could possibly use…”

“I’m not saying that the SHIELD board would appreciate it, but you’re not part of SHIELD,” Natasha reminded him. She knew this was a fine line they were walking, but this was the memory of two people who deserved to be remembered as the wonderful people they were. She was quiet for a long moment. “And I think you should take full advantage of that.”

Bruce stared back at her for a long while. Natasha didn’t know if he was surprised or what. It was definitely something. “You know...you...and Barton… You could come to work here… You don’t have to be with SHIELD.”

“It’s the closest thing I have to a home,” she admitted. Natasha really wasn’t sure if that was true. She was fairly sure that it was easier not to put down roots when you worked for SHIELD. You didn’t have a space really to decorate or to call home. You lived sparse and you didn’t get attached. She was used to that. 

“It doesn’t have to be,” Bruce whispered.

Natasha smiled at him. “It’s tempting.”

“At least think about it…” Bruce told her. “They would have wanted it this way…”

Her smile dropped and she looked down. Tony and Pepper… How did she let these people that she met all those years ago get to her? It had been an assignment… Yes, Tony had been recruited into the Avengers as well, but really it was an assignment too. How had she gotten so emotionally invested into them? It hit her, it was because they were family. “I know…”

 

. . .

 

ABOUT FIVE YEARS AGO...

 

Her mission with Stark Industries had come to an end. She was no longer Natalie Rushman, but instead she was back to being Natasha Romanoff. It had been a couple of days since Fury had given Stark their final thoughts on him and Iron Man and being apart of the Avengers project that Fury and Coulson were working on, Stark had apparently called and wanted to thank her. She’d tried to talk her way out of having to go, but Fury had insisted. Natasha had no idea how Fury had been convinced, after all, it wasn’t like SHIELD to do what people like Tony Stark wanted. 

So, she arrived at the Stark Mansion in Malibu dressed more like Natalie Rushman than Natasha Romanoff. She didn’t want to spook anyone. Though it was clear now to not only Tony Stark, but also Pepper Potts and Happy Hogan knew who she really was. There would be no hiding that, but she didn’t want to make things any more awkward between them. There had been secrets kept between Tony Stark and his closest friends, so she just hoped that they’d worked all of that out before she stepped through the door. She really wasn’t a counselor, even though she’d felt like a couples or marriage counselor between Stark and Potts. 

Natasha was certain that they’d eventually figure out how they both felt and possibly even communicate it in an effective way to the other. Or at least she hoped so. She was fairly sure that if they didn’t then there were going to be more problems along the road...though at least she’d be able to safely observe via the media rather than in person as their assistant in some form. 

In expected form, JARVIS allowed her entry into the mansion and informed her of where everyone was. So, she made her way through and tried to look pleasant instead of frowning deeply like she wanted to. She really didn’t want to be there.

“Agent Romanoff,” JARVIS announced.

“Ah, Agent Romanoff,” Tony said. 

She came into the main common area. She thought of it as the living room, but who knew what Tony considered it? Pepper and Tony were sitting side by side on the larger couch while Happy was on the oversized chair across from them. “You can still call me Natalie,” she offered, reminding herself to be pleasant.

“But that’s not your name…” Tony pointed out.

“Tony,” Pepper scolded and Natasha watched as Pepper patted Tony’s leg with her hand and then gave him a look that spoke volumes. And Tony didn’t say anything more. Natasha had seen this spark between them… She had made a comment about it when Tony and Pepper had gone back and forth each other over the feed when Pepper had overheard Natasha and Tony’s conversation and his ‘almost dying’ had been brought up. No one had seemed phased then, but then they had been in the middle of dealing with trying to get not only Justin Hammer into custody, but also Ivan Vanko. Pepper seemed collected, as she normally did, or at least mostly...obviously Tony hadn’t brought up Pepper’s blood pressure much that day. “We just wanted to thank you in person,” Pepper said as she got to her feet. “Though...your position wasn’t truthful, we understand that it was necessary.”

Natasha just nodded. “I was just doing my job.” She wasn’t trying to make friends, it had just been a job. There was something about these people though… 

“Well, I’m glad you do it so well,” Pepper said as she held out her hand politely. “So, thank you.”

“Yeah,” Happy spoke up. “I definitely couldn’t have taken on all of those guys at Hammer Industries on my own…”

Natasha shook Pepper’s hand and kept a smile on her lips. She just looked slightly amused over in Happy’s direction. Her gaze turned to Tony, who was still sitting on the couch, he seemed different. She’d noticed that he’d seemed to change a lot since she’d first met him, maybe it was the whole ‘almost dying’ thing that was hitting him. “And I’m glad that you didn’t die, Mr. Stark.”

“Yeah… I guess that’s sort of helpful,” Tony said flatly before getting to his feet and making his way towards her.

Natasha didn’t miss the eye roll or the look that Pepper threw at Tony. She really wondered how long it was going to take the two of them to realize that they acted like an old married couple and just take the jump and at least start to be an official ‘couple’. She was fairly sure that it would be harder for Tony… 

“So, does this mean that you’re to remain CEO?” Natasha asked Pepper. It was more to be cordial than anything else. She had spent a good amount of time with Pepper and had to admit that she thought that Pepper was a strong woman and that she’d done great things with Stark Industries in the short time that she’d been CEO. 

“Yes,” Tony said as he looked at Pepper.

“We really haven’t finalized that decision yet,” Pepper corrected.

“But it’s yes,” Tony countered.

Natasha just kept the smile in place. Tony Stark thought he could get anything because he was Tony Stark, but the truth was that really...Pepper controlled everything important in his life, even when she wasn’t the CEO. That had been plain to Natasha when she’d stepped onboard with them. “I think that you continuing as CEO of Stark Industries would be for the best,” she said politely to Pepper.

“Hey,” Tony complained. 

“What is your problem? She’s being polite--” Pepper asked.

“It sounded like she was--”

“This is one of the reasons why we agreed that maybe it’s better that I handle Stark Industries and you...tinker in your workshop,” Pepper reminded. “You don’t think long enough before you speak…”

“And my people skills are terribly,” Tony said matter of factly.

Natasha noticed Happy shaking his head in the background. She was sure that Happy probably saw what was going on between Pepper and Tony, but she also wondered if Happy had a thing for Pepper. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy that was really bold and would just confess his feelings. After all, she knew enough to know that Pepper, Happy, and Tony had been working together for some time and weirdly...sometimes that made things harder when it came to speaking truthfully about feelings. You didn’t want to risk those friendships that were already in place. 

“Well,” Natasha said after a moment. “I should go… I’m sure Fury needs me…”

“You know you could have your own show… Like ‘Undercover Boss’,” Tony pointed out.

“I don’t think that would be constructive to my job duties at all,” Natasha told him.

“Just saying…”

“If that’s all?” she asked, her question was mainly directed at Pepper because she knew that she’d be the first one to let her off the hook. Natasha just didn’t want to get back to Director Fury only to hear that Tony Stark was upset that she’d left without permission. How she’d be so happy to not have to ask for permission like this any further. SHIELD she could deal with. It wasn’t the same. She just didn’t question things when it came to her job there… At least she hadn’t been in that situation yet.

“Thank you for coming all the way here,” Pepper said. “I just thought it was important that we left things on the right foot.”

Natasha noticed that Tony had moved close enough to Pepper that their arms were just touching. It wasn’t a lot of touching, but she knew a deep down burning desire for someone else when she saw it. One day they’d wake up and realize it… And after working with him, Natasha was fairly sure that Pepper Potts was the only woman in the world who could manage to love and deal with Stark’s antics and behavior. “Of course… I’m just glad everything worked out…”

“And in the future, we don’t call SHIELD, right?” Tony asked. “SHIELD will find us.”

“That’s how it works.”

“It’s creepy…”

“Try not to die,” Natasha teased.

Tony smirked at her and with that, Natasha decided that she’d spent a sufficient amount of time in that house. She had other things to do. It was getting about time to check in with Barton and that was a check in that she’d been looking forward to. He was off with Coulson and Natasha had really found herself missing her partner through working with Stark and Potts. 

 

. . .

 

The End


End file.
